star shopping ✰ d.m.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The month of November seemed to drag on forever to Arabella. While it seemed to be going just fine, for some reason, she didn't feel that way.

She had tried out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team and accomplished becoming one of the new Beaters alongside Fraser, and that did make her very happy for a number of reasons. For one, remembering what her father had told her when he had given her her new broom, it felt good knowing that she would actually be able to tell him about her Quidditch victories. Maybe not as early as the Christmas holidays, as they didn't have a match until afterwards, but someday she would. For another, team practices offered her a distraction from how she was really feeling.

The truth was, every time she saw Draco, whether it be in the Great Hall, in the corridors, in class, or out on the grounds, she felt sad. Even before she had realized her true feelings for him, the two had been good friends. She was able to turn to him when it seemed everyone else was mad at her and he could do the same with her. Always there to comfort one another. Now they had dated and broken up and were back to square one: hating each other. Though Arabella did not actually hate Draco. As much as she knew she should, and as much as she acted like she did to him and others, she did not, and she felt that she could not, and that frustrated her to no end, making it easier for her to put up the act. Late at night when she was trying to sleep, though, she would find herself missing him, wishing they could go back to how they were, but knew that they couldn't. She would have dreams about him in which they were back to normal, nothing had happened, and that would lead to her waking up in a good mood only for it to plummet when she realized it had only been a dream.

She didn't confide any of these feelings to anyone. She felt like she couldn't simply because they all hated Draco and she had led them to believe that she hated him as well, and if she retracted that statement and told them how she really felt, she was worried they might think less of her. Those that were close to her and spent every day with her knew something was wrong, though, even when they asked her and she denied it. Ron could feel how upset she was and when she thought no one was looking, he saw it written all over her face. Hermione saw this, too, as well as knowing how deeply her best friend felt for Draco and knowing that all couldn't go away overnight, no matter how badly he had messed up. When the two discussed this all with Ginny, she agreed with them, but instead of questioning her sister, she supported her in hating Draco and was always having her join in on activities that would distract her, including working with her during Dumbledore's Army meetings instead of Michael so the two of them were actually challenged and therefore having fun.

These downtrodden and confused feelings continued on into December, despite the overall mood of the castle being excited and cheerful. Christmas was coming up, meaning the majority of students were getting ready to go home to spend the holiday with their families. While this did sound good to Arabella, she knew her mother was going to ask her questions about her relationship with Draco, especially since she knew it was supposed to be reaching it's one year mark, and she was dreading having to admit that it was over. Also, she didn't know whether she would actually be going home or back to 12 Grimmauld Place, and as much as she felt bad for Sirius having to be alone, she did not want to have to go back there. Somehow she knew being back in the dingy house where she was called a blood-traitor constantly by a house-elf would not help her feel any better, especially if the Wood family would once again be joining them. As much as she liked them and thought they were all lovely people, having them in the house with them meant it was much more cramped and there was much less privacy than even the Burrow. Even worse, Hermione would be going home to spend the holiday with her parents, and while Arabella was glad that her best friend would finally get to see her parents after being away from them for so long, Hermione was also one of the only people keeping her sane at that time and she wasn't sure how she was going to cope without her.