Love Always, Ella

Chapter Twenty-Three

Patrick

It's around two in the morning when I get the call. I can't hear much, just her grandmother crying and the words car accident and hospital coming out repeatedly.

My mind isn't thinking straight. Nothing is processing as I sit here on my bed as her grandmother cries and tries to think of what to do. My body is telling me to run right now to the hospital, to just get up right now and go, but my legs can't do it. It's like my life has just been frozen in place, my world ready to crumble down right around my feet and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

"Mom!" I finally manage to shout, my feet stumbling to pull my sweatpants on, the tears coming out uncontrollably. Oh my god our fight. We just had a fight and it was my fault.

She throws open my door with her bathrobe fastened around her waist, her hair a complete mess and her eyes widening once she sees me crying. I don't ever cry in front of anyone, but right now it feels like my heart just completely exploded in my chest because the girl I love is in the hospital right now and it's all because of me.

"Ella..." I say, trying to breathe between sobs. "She's in the hospital. I need to go to her. Now."

"Patrick, what happened? Is she-"

"I don't know, mom! We just need to go, and we need to go now!"

My mom hasn't spoken to me since she figured out the lie I had so idiotically come up with to tell Ella, but right now I need her more than anything. I think she can sense that because she just wraps her arm around my shoulder and leads me downstairs.

"I'm sorry." I cry. "I didn't mean to yell, I can't-"

"Just get in the car." She says quietly. "You'll be with her soon."

___________

My heart is pounding when the emergency room doors open. I've never been good with hospitals. Everything about them just screams death. It doesn't help that I can't see anything through the blurry vision of my tears, and when I ask what room she's in all they can tell me is that she's been moved to ICU. Nothing else matters right now except her, and as I race through the lobby to the elevators I'm just praying I'm not too late. God, I know I'm a screw up. I know I'm the biggest idiot in the entire world, but please don't take her away from me. Do not take the one good thing that has ever happened in my life away from me.

The elevator doors open and that's when I see her grandparents in the waiting room. Her grandpa is holding her grandma as she sobs and rocks her back and forth to comfort her. I don't know how bad she is, or what condition she's in, but I quickly find out when her grandfather narrows his eyes in my direction, clearly wishing I didn't exist. "You son of a bitch!" He shouts. "She died because of you!"

There's a nurse pushing a cart down the hallway, and when she hears him she stops in her tracks to look at me. I can't tell you what she said, or anything else anyone did, the only thing I can allow myself to do is stand here. No part of my body functioning, my heart not beating, my lip trembling, my worst fear coming true.

"I know exactly what you did." He sneers, his tone as cold as ice. "She called me to explain what happened as she was driving home, and when her damn scream came through the speaker-" He stops himself, letting the tears flow freely. "You did this. She was crying and wasn't paying attention because you didn't love her."

"Bob..." Her grandmother whispers.

He gets close to my face now, pointing his finger directly into it. "No, he deserves to hear this. You're a coward, son. I hope you wake up every day with regret in your heart. I hope you picture her face and remember all of the hurt you caused this family every single second for the rest of your life. This is on you."