PARTY UP THE STREET - HARRY STYLES (AU)

31

P H O E B E

s u n d a y
1 1 p m

"I mean, Harry just has so much to explore for himself, y'know." I tell Laurence. We came out for brunch so I could tell him about New York. He immediately said no, that he couldn't work with out me. But I started to explain to him why I think I'm going to go.

"It seems he really likes you, though." Laurence had stopped eating his croissant, only sipping from his orange juice every now and then.

"Yeah, I like him too. But Laurence I don't think he knows himself yet."

He actually hums in agreement with me this time. "When I realised I was bi, I was playing around with a girl I was in a relationship with. In the end, I felt like I was abusing her just to play around and figure myself out. I know she didn't mind, but I felt awful because I knew I wanted to go and experience things with men, also!"

"I feel like Harry might be in your shoes. I mean, I know I can't guess anything like that. But he's got so much of his life to live! So have I.. I'm ready to live it."

Laurence pouts. "You're the only person that motivates me."

"You can visit me! Flights into New York aren't too expensive, it's usually the accommodation- but you can stay at mine for your holiday! I'll show you around... hopefully I'll be able to." I giggle and he still pouts.

"I wish I could convince you not to, but this is a dream. I know you'll be amazing at it." He tells me and I pout this time.

"Ow, Laurence. Gimme a hug."

•

m o n d a y
9 : 3 0 p m

"Really Zayn?! A party on a Monday?!" I yell over the music when I enter their house.

"We're just celebrating." He shrugs.

"Celebrating what?" I laugh.

"Um, exams being over?!" He pulls a 'duh' face.

"Suddenly I'm glad I don't live opposite no more." I tell him and he laughs.

"Sorry."

"Where's Harry?" I ask and Zayn looks around the room.

"Um, I haven't seen him in a while? Check the back garden. I know they've been playing beer pong for a while." Zayn says and I thank him, before making my way out there.

A big table was set up with red cups, people yelling whenever the ball didn't go in the cup, but cheering when it did and chanting for the person opposite them to down their drink.

I laugh as I watch Huxley screw up his face whilst downing whatever was in the cup, before turning around when I noticed that I couldn't see Harry anywhere.

Deciding to go upstairs and drop my bag off in Harry's room, I wonder where he was. The garden was quite full, so perhaps I didn't see him. Either that or he decided to come back to his room.

I pushed open the door, and almost dropped my bag when I saw what was in front of me.

Harry was beneath a guy in just his button up shirt and his boxers, the guy with just his boxers on was straddling his lap, grinding on top of Harry.

Harry looked drunk, but he was enjoying it, panting with his classic red rosy cheeks.

"Holy fuck." I speak out, feeling unable to move. Harry looked over to me and immediately pushed the guy off him. The guy grunted as Harry stood up, grabbing his jeans off the floor.

"Phoebe, I- I'm so sorry-"

"It's okay." Is all I squeal out. It is okay, really. I wasn't just saying it.

"Please, leave." Harry points the guy to the door.

"I'll go-" I say.

"No! Get out." He booms at the guy and the guy scrambles out the room with clothes in hand. The door slams shut and we were left in silence.

Harry sits on his bed, running his hands through his messy curls.

"Harry, it's fine." I tell him.

"It's not fine." He rubs his face and I heard his voice was weak. I made my way over to be window to let some fresh air into the room. "Phoebe I don't know.. I'm so sorry Phoebe. Please, know I am-"

"Harry we're not together." I sit beside him on the bed.

"But I really like you Phoebs, pretty. I really do and now you're not going to believe me." He chokes out and I grab his hand.

"I need to speak to you." I squeeze his hand and he looks at me fast.

"About what? What's going on?"

Harry looked so hurt by his actions - and I was hurt too. But I knew this happened for a reason, this is the exact reason why I wanted to leave to go to New York. To leave and let Harry figure himself out.

"Harry I'm going to New York." I tell him.

"For like, a holiday? A trip?" He asks, sniffling.

"No. For work." I say.

"Oh."

"I thought really long and hard about it, I know it's what is best for me. I thought about leaving you, and it really broke my heart, Harry. Because I really like you. You helped me know how strong I am, you helped me find my own voice." I could feel a lump in my throat. "I love you, Harry." Tears fall down my cheeks.

His eyes glass up and he blinks the tears away. "Do you have to go?" His voice was weak.

I wait a couple of seconds before answering.

"I want to go. It's New York, there's so many opportunities there. I have nothing here, I don't own my own place, an annoying ex boyfriend, an unsupportive family. The only people who have kept me going are my friends, and you. But you have so much to find out, Harry. We both learnt that just now." I chuckle, wiping away my tears.

"No, but I know I like you. I love-" He stutters on his words, gulping. "I do."

"No." I say to him this time. "You need to figure yourself out. You need to explore, and I know that I helped you start that. But you need to explore and find out who you are. For me." Harry stays quiet, looking to the floor.

"You helped me find out who I am." He whispers.

"But you don't even know who you are yourself, Harry. Do you?"

"I do." He says. "I know that I'm falling for you."

"That's okay." I stroke my thumb over the back of his hand that was still locked in his. "But I can see right through you. When I'm gone, you'll be able to play around, live your uni life, pass your exams. I'm only a phone call away."

Harry's bottom lip quivers and I give him a tight smile.

"I didn't want to tell you this tonight, but it felt right." I admit to him. I wanted to stay with him tonight, party one last time. Have a last memorable fuck. But that didn't feel right no more. "I'm sorry. Please remember I'm only a phone call away, a text message, even." I kiss his temple and he looks down to our hands. I lift his hand and kiss over his cross tattoo, my tears from my cheeks imprinting on his hand.

"Can I keep this one?" I ask him, gently taking off the small, silver band round his little finger. He nods, mumbling a 'please'. The inside of the ring had a small 'h.s' engraved, and I was glad he decided to do that to all of his rings.

I slipped it onto my finger, standing up. I kissed him on the forehead, a small 'I love you' slipping from my lips before I left his room, leaving him emotionless on his bed.

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