My Story--Time to Tell It

I had a nightmare...

     James walks me to a big ass mansion and hold open the door for me.  A gentleman, sweet.  He grabs a coke out of the fridge and throws it at me.

"Catch," he says.

"Caught it!" I say grabbing it out of the air as it comes towards me.

     He laughs and drags me over to the couch.  He grabs the remote of the table and asks me what I want to watch.

"Oh my god," I start, "Is the Big Bang Theory on right now?"

     He turns it on and I let myself relax for the first time in quite awhile.

Sheldon:  "I wouldn't tell you the secret.  Sssh!"

Leonard:  "What secret?  Tell me the secret."

Sheldon:  "Mom smokes in the car.  Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad."

Leonard:  "Not that secret, the other secret."

Sheldon:  "I'm Batman! Ssssh!"

     I burst out laughing.  Man I love the Big Bang Theory.  I feel really tired so I lean against James and he puts his arm around me.  He puts his arm around me.  I can't wait to tell Linda!  I end up falling asleep cuddled into James and fall into a not so pleasant dream.

"Mommy?  Mommy?" I yell.
"I'm in the laundry room," she yells back.
"I'm going upstairs to do homework," I tell her and walk up to my room.

     I collapse on my bed and start to cry.  Someone had called me ugly and fat today.  They laughed at me and said I was worthless.  They hurt me.  And he had been my crush.  He was right, I am worthless.  I stand up and log onto my computer.  I go onto the internet and look up ways of self punishment.  Bodily harm...I pick up my razor and take out the blade.  Bodily harm...I slice a cut into my arm.  Ow...The pain in my arm made me forget my mental pain momentarily  though.  I did it again, and again, and again, and again...

     Someone shaking me jolts me out of my sleep.  I see James beautiful eyes staring at me in concern.

"You were crying," he says.

"Sorry...I had a nightmare," I say.

     He hugs me tightly.  I smell in his cologne.  Oh I want him to be mine.  His hug fills me with warmth.  It feels good wrapped up in his embrace, and I feel myself drift off asleep once more.

Okay...um...I really have nothing to say...Enjoy?
***Ella