i am exhausted yet relieved. my damp hair is pulled back from my face and i thank mum for doing so.
the nurse brings along my baby after cleaning him. he is wearing a yellow hat and wrapped up in a white blanket. i hold him protectively, carefully making sure that i am supporting his head and neck. i press a soft kiss to his forehead. his skin is pink and tender.
he yawns quietly and i hover the back of my index finger over his mouth as he does so. i pull back his hat slightly, seeing a cloud of dark, chocolate-coloured hair.
"hi, baby," i whisper, stroking his cheek lightly. he stirs a little. "i'm going to try to be the best mummy in the world. i'll try to be your mama and papa at the same time."
he opens his eyes for the first time. they are unfocused, but i am in awe at the shade of green he possesses – the exact same as his father's. it makes my heart ache.
"you are so beautiful, my love," i whisper, closing my eyes as i press another kiss to his forhead.
i loosen his blanket a little to see his dainty, small hands. i let one of them rest on my fore-finger. he makes a sound as he yawns again and i cannot help but smile in adoration.
~*~
signing the birth certificate was a huge step for me to take.
full name: christopher ethan smith
mother's full name: adrienne hazel smith
father's full name: harry edward styles
born on the second of february, 2014
i sigh softly, tapping the pen against the clipboard, wondering if i did the right thing filling his father's name in.
i glance at christopher in his crib and i know that this baby has become my life. i couldn't be happier, yet sadder all at once.
my warm hand rests on the top of his crib.
"here's to me and you, my love."
