christmas day
it is christmas morning and we are sitting around the christmas tree set up at anne's house. christopher sits in between my crossed legs, fiddling with my hands. he is excited for reasons he does not know of as he speaks his own language.
"let's start with gemma," mum suggests, scooting closer to the tree. she pulls out the first box with her name on it, handing it over. it is wrapped poorly with perfectly good wrapping paper.
"harry, did you get me this one?" she asks teasingly. "i can tell by the wrapping."
"don't judge," he says, nudging her a bit exaggeratedly. "i was in a hurry."
as my mum fishes out another box for someone else, she tears it open, seeing a striped box. christopher laughs at the tearing sounds, moving his legs in anticipation. opening the box, she takes out another one. it is a velvet box. she opens it and gasps. i smile at the self-satisfaction in his eyes - he looks so proud of himself.
"what is it?" robin asks, leaning towards her.
"it's a necklace! i don't know what it says, but it's so beautiful!" she gushes, staring down at it adoringly.
"it's your name in arabic," he says, grinning as she side-hugs him. "a friend translated it for me."
robin's small box came up next. it was from my father - a pair of tickets to go on a ferry trip. he is ecstatic. dad pats his back, grinning at him. the next box is for mum, it is from me. with my first salary, i'd gotten her a watch that i'd kept since then. she is close to tears as she hugs me to her, admiring her new watch. next, was a box for christopher, from my parents.
immediately, my child started to bang his palms against the box, chortling happily. grinning, i tore the paper and watched his eyes widen in surprise. he starts to wildly rip off the paper as he giggled. everyone around us is laughing, smiling or adoring the child. the present is a toy in which he can build up a cone with colourful donut-like rings.
next was a present from my parents to anne - a pretty china set. to my surprise, the following present is for me, from harry. my heart flutters in anticipation as he stares me down, teeth lightly sinking into his cherry red lips. christopher is now in the middle of the circle we created, babbling about something as i unwrap the present.
it is a velvet box. jewellery. slowly, cautiously, i open the box. right there, sitting between the folds of satin, is a necklace. except it's not just any necklace. it's his necklace. his paper airplane necklace. my throat clogs up and my eyelids burn but i don't want to cry.
i don't know what to do because all these memories are rushing back and i cannot handle it. my lower lip rolls into my mouth as i run the tip of my finger along the cool metal. christopher squeals and my heart clenches. our child.
"thank you," i murmur, casting a quick glance at him. "it's beautiful."
after a few moments and when everybody is busy, i excuse myself for the bathroom, box in hand. my sock-covered feet pad across the wooden floor as i aim to go the guest bathroom. once i'm inside, i raise my eyes to the ceiling to dry up any moistness that accumulated behind my lids.
almost inaudible, a soft knock raps on the door.
"one second," i say, rather quietly as i begin to wash my face with cool water.
"mama."
my heart flutters as i wipe my face, moving to open the door. just in time, i see my child crawling down the hallway, turning the corner. a smile pulls at my lips before i notice the shadow before me, realising someone is behind me. slowly, i turn to harry and he offers me a small smile. i try to smile back.
