Her Hidden Pain (Pain Series #1)

CHAPTER 40: (DINNER)

Allie's POV

It's been two days since the last time my friends visited me with Ryle... I thought that visit would be the one I imagined kapag nakita ko ulit si Ryle pero hindi pala, it was the opposite... Hindi ko alam kung anong relasyon nya kay Margoux but the way he hold her hand, it was screaming the truth on what they have, and it hurts me, yung tipo ng kapit na ayaw na nyang bumitaw, ayaw nyang bitawan yung kamay nya... And for the first time in my life I feel insecured... For the first time in my life, I wished that I could be someone else, I wished that I was her so I can hold his hand tightly and never let go... But this is reality, and Its them not us...

Nung oras na lumabas sila sa pinto ng kwarto ko na magkahawak ang kamay, parang bumalik ako sa umpisa, yung araw na umalis sya, yung araw na sinabi nyang I was just nothing... Bumalik ako sa umpisa kung saan, hinihiling ko na sana panaginip lang lahat, na sana magising na ako sa bangungot na ito, na sana hindi ito totoo, pero kahit anong gawin ko alam kong sarili ko lang yung lolokohin ko kapag pinilit ko yung sarili kong maniwala na walang katotohanan lahat ng nakita ko...

Umalis sya noon at aaminin kong umaasa akong babalik sya kahit papano, and when I saw him in that dark place I can't describe how happy I am na makita ulit sya, but when he said that he can't stay, I felt my heart shattered for the second time because of him and then he said that when I open my eyes and leave that dark place, I will see him again, and I literally did, I saw him right in front of me... But with someone else who isn't me, I saw him right in front of me while holding a girl's hand that wasn't mine, and I thought my heart was broken already but how wrong am I, dahil nung nakita ko sila na magkahawak ang kamay, yung natitirang lakas ng puso ko na humawak sa mga salita nya tuluyan ng bumigay, tuluyan ng nawasak at tuluyan ng bumitaw... Ayaw ko man pero wala akong magagawa, durog na durog na yung puso ko, at ayaw kong pati yung natitirang respeto ko sa sarili ko ay mawala dahil lang sa paniniwala sa mga salitang hindi ko alam kung may katotohanan ba o wala...

So that same day, I've decided that I'm gonna take Kuya's advice... Im gonna accept it all, I'm gonna forgive him not for him but for me, I'm gonna be stronger, I'm gonna change myself for the better and lastly Im gonna start loving and appreciating myself first before others... Alam kong mahirap but wala namang mawawala kung susubukan ko eh and atleast Im gonna do this for all, not just for me but for them too...

"Baby are you ready?" Kuya asked cutting me off in my thoughts

"Ahh yeah..." I smiled

"Okay let's go" He said

"Everything is settled?" I asked dahil hindi naman sya umalis sa kwarto ko para ayusin yung mga kailangan para sa paglabas ko sa hospital

"Yeah, Hendrix handled it earlier... He's also in the parking lot..." Kuya said and I just nod

I get off of my hospital bed at agad namang lumapit si Kuya sakin para tulungan ako... Yes uuwi na ako ngayon dahil pinayagan na ako ng doctor, but she said that I must take a rest for a while and don't get myself too tired dahil baka makasma sakin, I understand them so I agreed dahil kapag hindi ako nag agree sakanila ay hindi nila ako papayagan umuwi...

"Is Mom and Dad home?" I asked dahil habang nasa hospital ako ay hindi ako dinalaw nina Mom, well maybe they did when I was fast asleep

"Yeah, they took a leave para daw kapag dumating ka sa bahay ay sila agad yung makikita mo... And I must warn you with Mom..." Kuya said

"Why?"

"I swear, she's gonna be so emotional seeing her only princess entering our house again, seeing her only princess' dark brown eyes again, seeing you looking at her with a smile on your face again... You know Mom, she's very emotional lalo pa at isang beses lang silang nakadalaw ni Dad dito dahil sobrang busy sa company, but now, it seems under their control again so they can spend time with you..."