Chapter 38: The Death of Willow Pape

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It was a beautiful day in Sydney. Marshmallow clouds lazed their way across the sky, and the sun glinted off the bay like millions of tiny paparazzi camera flashes. 

Willow Pape stood on the deck of the yacht, posing for a photo shoot with Garrett St. Clair. They were doing a spread for Sparkill, Misty Levin’s new fashion line. It was going to be a huge campaign, the photos would be everywhere, people would be talking about it for months, and it would ensure Willow’s name was written in K-Stars across the heavens forever. 

Willow did Profile Shot, Wardrobe Change, Check Makeup, then React to Backdrop. She was about to Take a Break and Cool Off when she noticed that everyone on the yacht was Reacting to Backdrop. The makeup artists, the lighting director, the editor, the publicist, the yacht captain, every single person who crowded the deck had stopped whatever they were doing and were staring out at the water. Even Garrett dropped his camera and for once the vague, vacant smile disappeared from his face. 

“Hey! What’s going on!” Willow demanded. “You’re all supposed to be looking at me? Hello?” Willow glared at them furiously but no one even responded, they all just kept staring out at the water behind her. 

Willow harrumphed, then turned and looked out to see what they were seeing. There was a storm coming, dark clouds gathering on the horizon. But it was far away, they had plenty of time to finish the shoot. Or wait. No. It was already closer. And there was something else, inside the storm. A dot? A dragon? A demon of some kind?

No. A woman. 

She was flying towards them at incredible speed, almost dragging the storm towards them. She shot in low over the water, sending jets of sea spray up behind her, hundreds of feet into the air. As she came closer the skies all began to rapidly transform--from blue, to fifty different shades of gray, to black. The clouds were crackling, threatening to boil over and unleash lightning and thunder in every direction, at any moment. 

She swooped across the bay, and just as she was about to hit the side of the yacht she pivoted, swooping up into the sky, then fell, landing on the deck in a perfect 3-point landing that shook the entire ship. 

She rose, and Willow gasped as she saw that it was Kim Kardashian.

“Willow Pape,” Kim intoned. “I have business with you.”

“You have no business here,” Willow said. “You are interrupting my photo shoot. This is sacred space.”

“You know nothing of the sacred,” Kim screamed. She shot the Lightning emoji at Willow. Willow managed to deflect it, but only just. 

“Um what the HELL?” Willow yelled. “Did everyone see that? Kim Kardashian is like attacking me? For no reason?”

Kim looked and saw that everyone standing on the deck was either filming their interaction or wildly updating their social media about it. Even Lon Garerra had somehow appeared in this background, his camera flashing like glinting knives. Good. Let them see. Let them all see.

“You’re the one who’s been attacking me for no reason,” Kim said. “Ever since I first entered this world. You have blocked my progress, cast aspersions on my character, and attempted to thwart me at every turn. Your jealousy has corrupted your heart and turned it black.”  

Willow laughed. “Umm I think you’ve got like literally everything backwards? You wanted my career, and when you couldn’t have it you started talking to my boyfriend? Which, like, how sad is that?”

“I want neither your career nor your boyfriend,” Kim said. “Both are gross. And I could forgive your constant, petty lies, but your jealousy led you to kill Tiny Monkey, and I will hear you admit it.”

“Do you understand how pathetic you sound? You are a desperate, washed up hag. Get off this yacht before I throw you off. Lucky for you your butt is legally a floatation device.”

Kim screamed in outrage and cast Water Wave. A large wave foamed up over the side of the yacht, headed straight for Willow. Without blinking Willow cast Cyclone and a strong wind swept across the deck, pushing the wave harmlessly away. 

Kim cast Woman’s Boots and 6 boots flew out of Kim’s phone in rapid succession, aimed directly at Willow’s head. Willow cast Deciduous Tree and a large tree sprang up out of the deck, catching the boots in its leafy branches.

Then Willow cast Boar and a small boar appeared, scampering across the deck. It leapt up into the air and rammed its tusks right into Kim’s abdomen, sending her crashing into the rails. 

Willow stood over Kim, laughing. “Do you get it? Boar? Because you bore me? It’s a double entendre.”

OK this was bad. Kim’s dress was torn, she’d banged her arm against something and was bleeding?

“Do you not see what’s happening here?” Willow continued. “Maybe if you checked your social media more, or like, EVER, you would know that you can’t defeat me? That once again you’re late to a party no one even invited you to? I leveled up to the A-list last night, Dim Kardashian. I’m more powerful than you’ll ever be, and there is no way a B-lister like you could ever overpower me now. Like, sorry, bye.”

Willow raised her phone to finish Kim off. 

“Wait,” Kim said. “You forgot one thing.”

Willow raised an eyebrow. “Oh really?” 

“I don’t need to be A-list to defeat you.”

Willow rolled her eyes exaggeratedly so everyone in the crowd could catch it. “And why’s that?”

“Because,” Kim said. “My phone’s been acting really weird lately.”

Kim invoked Rocket Ship, Money Bag, Bomb, and Speak-No-Evil Monkey. A little monkey bomb shot from Kim’s phone and flew through Willow’s skin embedding itself in her heart. 

Willow stared in disbelief at the place where the spell had entered her body. “Wait, what?” she said, her entire body beginning to shake uncontrollably. “What did you do?” she screamed.

“Tiny Monkey is avenged,” Kim said. And Willow Pape, A-List celebrity and scourge of Hollywood, exploded in a flash of brilliant light, a thousand lightning bolts all returning to the sky. 

When everyone’s vision blinked back into place, the deck was filled with little bouncing piles of money and K-Stars. 

Kim swiped her finger across her phone and disappeared. The crowd of onlookers paused a moment, then rushed forward, excitedly grabbing up as much money and K-Stars as they could, devouring all that remained of Willow Pape. 

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