F0rg3t

Chapter 2: A Promise Still Broken

As I cried on the wooden floor, an arm wrapped itself around my back and a hand pushed me backwards. Another arm curled under my knees and lifted me into the air. Looking up to see whom unwantedly touched and lifted me, Calum's eyes blinked a few times, begging for sleep.

"I'm going to carry you."

"N--"

"And you aren't going to protest. Just get out what you need to." He said as he began to climb the stairs. I took a deep breath and layed my head on his bare chest. His heart was doing this.... Pounding thing. And his breath was shallow.

"Am I heavy?" I asked when he stopped in front of a white door. He looked down at me. I licked my bottom lip and blinked. At first, he looked fine. Then his face got unusually red. I looked at him confused. "Does that mean I am?" My voice was quiet but hard as a rock. Calum shook his head and opened the door.

The room was small but comfortable. There was a small bed in to the right and a desk to the left. A black painted vanity was next to the door.

"You can put me down now." I said. Calum shook his head again and walked to the bed. He layed me down and had his hands on either side of my head. His eyes softened and a smile was plastered on his young face. For a second, my heart beat out of time and I blinked a few times. I'm probably tired....

Sitting on the bed, Calum backed up and leaned against the wall.

"Do you like anyone?" He asked without looking at me. I stared at him for a bit, considering my answer.

"I believe so, yes."

"Who?"

"A boy I met on Pestergram." He turned his head to me and looked confused. I could see that he had no idea what I was talking about. "I read this thing called Homestuck. It's about trolls.... They go on this chat room called 'Pestergram.' One day I got curious and looked it up, finding out that it was real. I made an account and befriended a boy. He's eighteen and looks a lot like you. But his profile picture is small, so I could be mistaken."

"Have you met this mystery boy?" Calum asked me and I shook my head no. "Do you want to?" I nodded in response.

"I do. I've tried to ask him but every time I do, he evades the subject."

"Where does he live?"

"Around here." He nodded slowly and smiled. He turned his body towards me quickly.

"Do you want to meet my friends? They all go to Charter Rose."

"That's where I go!" I said, I was happy to hear that I could actually know people from my school that aren't in my classes.

"Awesome!" He leaned back once again. "Maybe we could have lunch together?" I nodded, a faint smile on my face. For a few minutes, we sat in silence, avoiding eye contact.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Calum asked me. He sounded really shy for some reason.

"Yeah."

"I don't want to die a virgin...." He mumbled. I began to laugh. He looked at me as if I were higher than Gamzee Makara.

"Oh god!"

"What?"

"You're serious?"

"Yeah....."

"Nobody dies a virgin."

"How?"

"Life fucks us all." He began to chuckle.

"Kurt Cobain." Calum says with a giant smile.

"Hell fucking yeah!" I laughed and we sat on my new bed, talking for hours. Laughing, punching each other lightly. Then he made a very large mistake.

"Your brother was pretty fucked up, huh?" He smiled while saying it. I swing my fist hard and it connected with his jaw, throwing him onto the floor.

"Who the fuck said you could comment on my past? On my brother, no less! Fuck you!" I yelled as I turned and rammed my fist into the drywall. I looked over and Calum stared at me, a frown on his face. "Get out!" I screamed at him. But he didn't move.

"Why? You obviously need someone." He sounded unimpressed.

"I only need myself." My voice was quiet and I threw my walls right back up.

"No. You need someone to lean on. When you are ready," he got up and inspected the hole in the wall, then walked to the door, "come and talk to me. Don't deny that you need it."

He closed the door without a word and I sat on my bed. I couldn't do anything. I was messed up. But I knew one way to make myself feel so much better. I walked outside to the car and my social worker smiled at me.

"I came back because--"

"I don't care. Give me my keyboard and fuck off." My voice was harsh but I didn't have a care in the world. I just wanted to sing. She handed it to me and I went back to my room.

I set it up, putting it on the grand piano setting. A few Keyes to test it and I started with the first cords. The words then came from memory.

"I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
Loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Sing sha la la la
Sing sha la la la la

Ooo Ooo Ooo...
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love

It's all wrong, it's all wrong
It's all wrong, it's so right
So come on, get higher
So come on and get higher
'Cause everything works, love
Everything works in your arms."

By the end of the song, I was crying again. Fuck these tears. This song.... My brother an his girlfriend played it at my Sweet Sixteen and dances like it was their wedding. The smoothness of their moves and the smiles on their faces. I was so entranced. The memory sent more tears flying down my cheeks.

"Fucking tears!" I yelled before collapsing into a heap of sobs on my bed. Sleep caught up with me for the first time in years.