Behind the Hooded Mask

What Did He See?

We walk into the building with a heavy feeling of uncertainty and unease. I do my best to provide Karen with as much encouragement as I possibly can before reaching her classroom. Upon arrival, I tell her that everything will be fine and give her one last hug before she enters her classroom. I head to my class as well, hoping that I have given Karen enough courage to survive this dreadful day. Before I reach my classroom and meet up with Stan, Kyle, and Cartman once again. I feel far more secure and confident when I am around them. I feel like I can endure anything with them by my side. Without saying a word, we all head toward our destination.

We finally reach our class and walk right in. I kinda dozed off with my mind consumed by all of the thoughts about this accursed morning. The sound of a dropping pencil snapps me out of my trance as I notice everyone has already taken their seat. I take the only seat left and sit next to Butters. Butters takes notice and greets me. "Heya Ken!" He chirps in his usual happy and innocent tone. "Hey Butters" I reply, trying to look as calm and confident as possible.

"You OK Ken?" Butters questions with a bit of concern on his face. "Yeah..I-I'm just nervous about today's test." Oh great job Kenny just randomly pull something out of your ass as a pathetic excuse for a coverup...Butters looks shocked. "We have a test today?! Oh hamburgers! How could I have missed this?! I didn't even study! I'm gonna get grounded for sure!" "We do not have a test today." A monotone voice spoke up from behind. We turn to see Craig looking at me as if I were a moron. "Now please stop spewing bullshit, you're making Tweek paranoid." "GAHH!! We d-don't have a-a test today, RIGHT?! I-I DI-DIDN'T STUDY!!" "No Tweek, there are no tests today. Kenny is just talking bullshit."

"Gee Kenny, why'd ya tell me we had a test when we don't?" I try not to panic and quickly come up with a secondary coverup. "I...must have misinterpreted...I really thought we had one today." I am saved from this immensely awkward moment by Mr. Garrison's arrival as he places his papers on his desk and beggins roll call. It seems that Clyde is absent today as he is the only one whose voice was not heard during the roll call.

Mr. Garrison then takes the stack of papers off of his desk and begins to speak. "Class, I have all of your report cards. For the most part, your grades are very nice. But some of you asswipes need major improvement! I will pass them out and I expect you to take them home and have a parent sign them. Be sure to return them tomorrow. For those of you who have low grades, you must stay and speak with me after class!" He begins to pass out the report cards to their respective students.

The majority of our class seems to be pleased with their report cards. He finally hands me my report card and I instantly snatch it from him and stuff it in my bag hoping no one notices. Lucky for me, no one did...except for Butters who was staring at me as if I were a madman. I disregard his curious stare and continue to focus on surviving this wretched day. We spent the next four hours listening to Mr. Garrison's blabber tediously about various subjects and complaining about stupid shit. Listening and taking notes can be quite tiresome when you have to listen to a bunch a bullshit to get to the actual subject. Finally the lunch bell rings and the entire class practically runs out of the classroom.

I decided to remain calm and casually walk to the cafeteria. I didn't feel like I was in the mood for causing a ruckus. I just quietly walk to the cafeteria moving slower than my peers. Once I enter, I find my usual spot and sit next to my friends. I am sitting between Stan and Cartman and Kyle is to the right of Stan. I notice that Butters is sitting directly in front of me happily eating while his brain is in la la land. I have just now come to realize just how goddamn hungry I am. I didn't eat breakfast at home because I wanted to get the fuck away from my arguing parents as quickly as I could. Man lunch sounds REALLY good right now!

OH SHIT! I forgot my goddamn lunch! I was in such a hurry to get the fuck away from my parents that I forgot to bring it with me! And god knows I don't have any money! What the fuck am I going to do? I don't want to stoop as low as to beg for my friends to help. To be perfectly honest, I know asking for their help would not be considered "begging"... I just always feel this need to "be strong" and not show any sign of weakness. Even asking for my friends to help me buy lunch makes me feel "weak". Curse my need to feel strong over the most ludicrous things. I can handle it, I'm used to skipping meals...I do it all the time. There was one summer where I went an entire week without eating when my parents hit their deepest financial low. This should be a piece of cake. *growl* Or...maybe not...I hope nobody heard that...

"You OK Ken?" Butters glared at me, his face enveloped with concern. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine" I lied in response. "Ya sure? You're not look'n too good. You look tired and drained." Butters states in deep concern. He notices something. "Why aren't you eating?" He asks. "I'm not hungry." I replied,continuing to lie. "Kenny, be honest with me, did you forget your lunch again?" I glanced at him and reluntaly told the truth. "Yeah...I did..." I can't stand to see him so upset. He always seems so hurt when I tell a lie, even if it's completely miniscule.

"Do you have any money?" He asks me. What kind of question is THAT?! Of course I don't!! I didn't want to come off as rude so I simply replied with "no". Butters ponders for a minute before getting up and leaving the table. I am bewildered by his actions, but do not bother to question or dwell on it. I once again lose myself to my own disquieting thoughts. I was genuinely caught off-guard when I felt a sudden tap on my shoulder.

I turn to see Butters holding a lunch tray. I tilt my head to the side in confusion. "Didn't you already get yourself lunch?" I ask, honestly confused. "Why yes I did but this isn't for me, I got it for you!" I mentally slap myself in the head remembering how selfless he is by nature. But I don't understand why he'd care so much about someone like me. "Why would you do that though? I am OK you know." I question with a sudden lack of self-worth. Butters looks at me dumbfounded. "Why you're my best friend Kenny, I have all the reason for helping you. That's what best buddies do!"

I don't like to admit it, but he's right. I am his best friend. We have been best friends for far longer than anyone actually knows. I have kept it covert for many months now and no one suspects a thing. It's for the best though, I never want anyone to discover Butters is my best friend for it could very well destroy my false reputation I have kept over all of these years. My spurious reputation is what makes me feel strong and secure in this judgemental, bigoted, vulgar town. I make myself out to be very different from how I truly am on the inside. It's my way of protecting myself from the others around me. Butters truly is a child of gold, but so naive and easily walked on and manipulated. I fear for him sometimes.

I gratefully accept his offer and take the tray. He sits back down at his spot in front of me and continues eating, while I begin to do the same. I hope someone was able to help Karen get some lunch since she goes to lunch about an hour before I do. I try to eat and postpone this thought so I do not begin to worry Butters again. As I am eating, I feel a gaze on me. It's almost uncomfortable. I look up to see Butters staring at me. He looks me in the eyes and his expression shifts from his usual cheery face to a face of apprehension. It almost looks like he saw me die or something. He looks away and continues to eat, remaining silent throughout the remainder of lunch.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful with the occasional argument between friends and more of Mrs. Nelson's unbearable rambling and the entire time, Butters was completely mute. I try to brush it off as I get on the bus and finally "look forward" to going "home". I finally arrive home to see my parents aren't present. Great...who's gonna sign my report card now? I found out Kevin skipped today and that Karen did have something to eat for lunch. At least I know she's OK.

I unzip my bag and pull out my report card, looking at the same o'l straight A's as always. Yeah, another thing I keep esoteric are my grades. I am actually quite intelligent and have been asked to join advanced classes a multitude of times and I have declined every offer. I never want to be put in a class where I cannot be in the company of my best friends. To prevent the possible inevitable time they would try and force me to take advanced classes, I fake my bad grades and turn my A's into C's D's and F's. The only one at school who knows about my grades is Token, who has paid Mr. Garrsion to keep my real grades from Pc Principal and only show him the fake ones.

I go to my room and fall face first onto my bed. I roll onto my back and stare blankly and the ceiling as I think about Butters. What the hell happened today? What did he see that made him go completely mute throughout the entire remainder of the day? Will he talk to me anymore? And if not... What should I do from then? What can I do? Why do I suddenly feel so...afraid?