Behind the Hooded Mask

Isolation

I have noticed Kenny's change in behavior since the day I saw that pain in his eye. Despite my best efforts, I have failed day after day to unhood him. I can't even get close to him without him walking off. It's as if he is try'n to avoid me. Like he's afraid of me. It ain't like I ever did anything to hurt him, so why is he act'n as if I did something wrong? I didn't do anything mean...did I? I sure don't remember doing anything to hurt him and if I did I feel real bad for it. I would never wanna do anything to hurt Ken, he's my best friend! So...why does it feel like I hurt him? Anytime I approach him he moves away... He seems to remain in the far back corner of the classroom avoiding...everyone...during lunch, he sits at the only empty table, ignoring his friend's obvious worried glances. No matter what they try to do, Kenny ignore them and stays in his lonely corner. What the heck did I do to him?

Kenny's POV:

Since the events a few days prior, I have been dreading even talking to Butters. After his silent treatment during the last part of that day, I have only feared the worst. I don't want to face the possibility that I had done anything wrong and find out in a nasty twist that I had hurt him somehow. All I can remember is that we exchanged eye contact for a split second then everything changed. It's as if one glance into my eyes had traumatized him. It's so odd since this has never occurred prior. There have been countless other times we had maintained eye contact with no ill effects. So...what made this encounter any different? I can't quite put my finger on it. But for the time being, I'm not too keen on finding out I did something wrong. 

I have been so vigilant about facing Butters that I have been actively circumventing encounters with anyone who is currently in contact with him. Maybe my paranoia is being blown out of proportion but I am just not ready to deal with anymore heavy bullshit. I already have enough of that to endure. I know these thoughts are selfish... But being to only "parent" of your nuclear family unit when the real parents won't do shit, it will make you put their needs before your own. This is why despite the fact that I need to talk to him, I won't. I cannot allow my petty emotions to subdue my responsibilities. I have more important things to worry about...even then...why do I feel this need to be alone? I have never had so many problems with social interactions before.

(Kenny pauses as he begins to think)

......That...look in his eyes...that slight spark...almost as if he...understood something...it made me feel...somewhat exposed....weak....vulnerable...Is THIS really the reason why I am avoiding him? No...it can't be...he's too oblivious to be able to read me...there is no way...still...I feel...afraid. No...I have to stay away from him, even if I didn't hurt him I know I will. With how much worse and more stressful my home life is getting, I cannot afford to have precious little angel Leopold Stotch stripped of his innocence by the likes of my personal trauma. He tends to feel other people's pain and if he knew the kind of anguish I was in, it would decimate him. I could never forgive myself if I tainted someone so pure with my trumatic life. 

For now, I'll just have to get through this wretched day one step at a time.