After Dark | Spec Ops x Reader

7 | First Mission

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   "I'm sorry," Alpha said, throwing down the file from earlier onto my bed next to me.

   I wasn't expecting him when he walked in. He hadn't knocked, but luckily I was already fully dressed and dried off. I was sitting on my bed on my phone, mindlessly scrolling, when he came in. I'll admit, I tensed up when I saw it was him instead of Scales, but I didn't say anything. Didn't show that he unnerved me.

   I looked down at the file. Sure enough, I was right and it was the file of Barnham Nils.

   "I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. It was uncalled for and unprofessional." He sat down on the bed, one leg hanging off onto the floor, the other curled in half a butterfly pose. He didn't meet my eyes. "I'm sorry if I scared you, I know I probably did. I let my rage take over, and I shouldn't have."

   "It's okay," I told him against my better judgment.

   "What?" He queried, "You're forgiving me?"

   I shrugged. "Everybody makes mistakes and deals with trauma in their own way." I picked up the file, looking it over before nudging it in his direction. "I'm guessing you knew this guy?"

   "He was my brother," Alpha answered somberly after a few seconds.

   "Oh."

   "I... He got shot during a mission and died."

   "I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I'm sorry for your loss."

   "I was the one who shot him."

   I went quiet, not really knowing how to respond to that.

   "I thought he was one of them. One of those things, damned shapeshifting bastards. It looked just like him. It was too convincing. The thing pleaded for me not to shoot it, and Barnham did the same. They were standing next to each other, the most cliché thing- you see it in movies all the time, but it's different when it's happening in real life. The shapeshifter was too convincing, somehow made me think my own brother was the monster. And I shot him. I killed my own brother."

   Alpha had his head in his hands, crying. It's like he was just rambling on at this point, forgetting I was there and he was telling me the story. He was reliving this moment in his head, all the guilt too real, still there. I don't know how long ago this happened, but it was clear Alpha still hadn't gotten over it.

   I crawled over my bed and hugged him, held him in my arms. I, me, was comforting this six-foot-something tall man as he just broke down. The same man I thought was going to kill me a few mere hours ago. I just held him, whispering to him that everything was gonna be okay, that it wasn't his fault, that he would be able to get through this, all while holding him close and petting his hair.

   Eventually, he calmed down, enough to snap back into the present. Eyes red and puffy, nose stuffed.

   "I'm sorry, you shouldn't be seeing me like this," he whispered, ashamed.

   "Don't be sorry, you need to work through this. It's not just something you can push back to deal with later. You have to confront this one day, move past it, and become a better person because of it."

   He didn't respond. He knew I was right in some ways but didn't want to admit it. He laid back on my bed and took a deep breath. I didn't say anything either, letting him just sit and think and calm down.

   "If there's ever something I do that makes you afraid of me, tell me," he said eventually, looking over at me. "Promise me you'll tell me if I fuck up."