My One Reason To Live

three

* please note the song above is meant for the scene after the interaction with her father*

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I hear my father's footsteps coming closer behind me. Suddenly I feel his body on top of mine he was breathing down my neck and holding my waist.

"Father what are you doing! Get off me!!" I shout as I try take his hands off me. " Youu know I tried flllirting with someonnne tonighttt!" He grunts in my ear as he pushes his body into mine and I start crying because I'm failing to get away from him.

"I triiied flirtingg and she rejected me! But yyyou'd never rejeect me right?!" He digs his nails into my sides and I scream in pain. " Get off me!!" I yell and cry, I then try one more time to push his hands off me. I grip his hands and shove them away. I quickly run to the knives hearing his heavy footsteps running after me. I quickly turn to show him the knife.

" Get away from me! If you try touch me again I swear to God I'll stab you!" I yelled as I pointed the knife in his direction. All my father did was smirk and turn away to collect his now warm food. As he did so I turned and ran to my room, almost tripping as I ran up the stairs too. I shut my door and locked it. Once my door locked I threw the knife on the floor and burst into tears. I sit down with my back against the door, with my hands in my hair as I scream and cry while I look at the knife. The events of tonight hitting me hard. I decide against screaming as that could wake my neighbours, I know I should tell someone but my father was drunk and they'd send me away to some orphanage where I'd have to live with people that could mock me my whole life!

I rush to my bathroom and disassemble my shaver to get the blade. I sit in my bath tub and cut my wrists horizontally and cry from the pain but it's pain that I caused, no one else, only me. I couldn't control my dad but I can control this so it gives me a sense of comfort. I cut both my wrists, not too deep as to bleed to death but just on the verge of it. I lean my back against the inside of the tub and cry some more before falling asleep.

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My alarm wakes me up to a sore back and throbbing wrists. I quickly take a shower, making sure to wash the dried blood on my tender wrists gently. I put on my usual baggy clothes but I make sure to wear a long sleeve to cover my wrists. When I'm done dressing I rush downstairs and make my dad his breakfast and leave it on the coffee table in the lounge so he doesn't make a mess in the kitchen.
I make some black coffee and head to school not feeling hungry because I ate some food last night.

If I was eating like a regular teen my dad's expenses would've been higher, hence why I eat so little.

I put in my earphones and head to school. As I drink my coffee it burns my throat (like the bath) and I relax. As I walk to school I feel my usual crappy self and I start to feel worse because thoughts of last night enter my head. Tears start to fall when suddenly I hear that hooting again and it's school.

I look around for that car that's hooting to find it's Luca hooting his car at Alice. They probably had sex yesterday because the way Alice is smirking says it all.ugh. I notice how Ashley (the queen bitch) is also giving her bestie a hate glare. She probably wanted Luca too.

I snap out of looking into people's lives and head to my locker, get what's needed and get to my first lesson.

The day goes by pretty quickly, nothing that interesting happens. Actually Alice and Ashley had a cat fight at lunch but I didn't care.

It's now the last lesson. The only lesson that I don't hate as much as the rest. Art class. I have no idea what I'm going to be when I'm older and I don't know what art will help me with but for now Art will help me feel closer to my mom.

I take my seat in the back next to the window behind a large white canvas. Students start to fill the class and I notice that Luca joins the class too. Ugh. Why am I NOTICING Luca??, His an asshole just like all guys, just like my dad.

"Alright class so today I would like you to to paint the human body, some boys may be immature and paint huge boobs and a huge butt and some girls might be immature and paint huge biceps and a huge penis" the whole class starts to laugh but i remain serious. " but I would like you to be serious and paint a reasonable human body. I'd like you to focus on the shading because the shading gives dimension and dimension gives life, so please do enjoy" Mr Peirce gestures for us to start and sits behind his desk on his computer.

Some students play around, other paint stupid pictures and some actually try to paint. I just put in my earphones and begin to paint. Time flies but all I focus on is the paint, the brush and the canvas. I put my everything into it and think of encouraging things that my mother would say to me as I paint.

When the bell rings I take out my earphones and look at my painting. I didn't even think about what I was going to paint, I just started. But now that I look at it, it's a picture of a man laying on the ground and his hands are behind his head while a woman lays on his chest. They look peaceful and happy. I wish it were me in there.

I take my canvas and give it to Mr Peirce. His eyes widen before he says.
" Wow...Charlotte I didn't know you were so talented" he says with a genuine smile. " Please call me Charlie, I don't go by Charlotte and thanks" I say simply before walking out. Behind me I hear Mr Pierce, " Charlie wait!" I turn around to see him holding Luca's painting with a painful look on his face. " Yes sir?" I say walking back to his table. " Could you help Mr Esposito out here. It seems he doesn't have such gentle brush work like you, maybe you could give him a lesson or two or else he will fail and have to leave my class if he doesn't progress"

I turn to look at Luca to find him staring at me already.

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