I'd say this all started with my birth, but that's a long and boring story. Instead, we'll begin in grade school.
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To grow up in a household like mine, trusting others becomes a huge issue. I grew up learning to cope with my problems by covering them with humor and distancing myself from those who think they know me.
Every few months I have a "personality change" of sorts, where I chose a different mask to wear. A lot of kids didn't like it in school, often times calling me a freak or giving me new nicknames every change to fit the new change. No one noticed the changing until I was in second grade, when my interests all changed as I got bored. I stopped drawing, stopped listening to popular music, and stopped speaking. Instead, I was selectively mute and changed to sports over arts. I picked up badminton first, finding that I was really good at playing it but I sucked at working with others. One on one games were the best for me.
Then, half way through the school year, I dropped it and started to take dance classes. I got called slurs due to taking ballet first, but soon I changed to hip hop. The slurs stopped and I just started getting called insults for my clothes. It wasn't fun. I was well known for being a liar, always fibbing to others or telling the truth in a field of lies so that they don't realize what is true.
I didn't have many friends in middle school, people not liking the hyper energy I randomly gained two months into the school year. Finding their reactions hilarious, it shifted to perverse hyperactivity. Lewd remarks and suggestive comments spewing from me whenever the chance, being immature and a kid wasn't unusual. That was, until the adults realized that my comments and obscene gestures were only focused on the boys who bullied me. They didn't know I was being bullied and I was known for being a liar, so my word was as trashy as Oikawa is flat.
I was a second year when Oikawa was a third year in middle school. We knew of each other, because everyone knew who we were from our reputations. Oikawa didn't bully me, but he did find himself at the ends of some of my jokes. He'd always get flustered, so I intentionally picked him out of the crowd to direct them at. Until he graduated and moved on to high school. When he left, I felt a pit begin to form in my heart. Well, it deepen slightly.
Instead of going to the schools I got academic scholarships to, I chose Karasuno. I wanted to wear the military style uniform over a suit, plus the guys there are hot from what I've seen. My personality change shocked the whole first year grade when I changed from my lewd comments and jokes to silence. My dance was switched to cooking, my classes and grades in math improving throughout the switch.
The most surprised person was Nishinoya Yuu. He was one of the teens I would hangout with and make dirty remarks at others with. He wanted to hang around me because I had a reputation for being very punkish in personality. So when I silenced and changed to something more domestic, he felt betrayed and left to hangout with his volleyball buddies.
Life at home was separate from school. At home, I was an obedient child who never spoke unless spoken to. I kept my grades up to avoid physical harm from my dad as he tries to gaslight me to believe he's loving when he's a manipulative asshole. My mom isn't any better, threatening to take away my things unless I do things to her standards, which she always changes midway through doing whatever she wanted me to.
I didn't have any siblings, friends weren't important to me. I just needed to focus on getting old enough to leave the house so I don't have to be exhausted every day.
Standing in the doorway of the house, I gripped tightly onto my bag as I held an emotionless state. Not notifying my arrival to my parents, my shoes were slipped off and I silently went to my room. It's too dangerous to be in the living room when dad is home. My bag was tossed carelessly onto my bed as I laid down and took a heavy breath. I stretched my cheeks with a smile, sitting up and looking at the full body mirror by the door. It was cracked, the dim lighting not helping as light creeped through the curtains and into my eyes. A sinister smile formed rather than a happy one, my eyes bloodshot with dark bags under them, my hair a mess from the wind outside. I looked like a serial killer like this, not that I don't like the aesthetic I radiated at the moment.
I let the smile drop, turning to grab my homework from my bag. It was really easy for me since I study a lot already, it wasn't like I had anything better to do. It was difficult as I sat at my desk and reached to grab a pencil, stopping and staring at my hand as it struggled to stay steady. Instead of working, I stared at my hand for a few minutes as if shook. I couldn't remember what happened after, my memory failing me as I passed out at the desk.
