I hurriedly exit the classroom before Ms. Blake even grabs a chance to talk to me. It looks like the tables have turned. Before she would curse hell if she catches herself looking at me, now it's as if it's all she can do. I know she felt the need to patch things up after she heard my side in the science fair, but I didn't. It was actually more of a consuming fear of confrontation than not wanting to talk to her. Yeah, talk about ballsy, huh? One month has passed, and I was still hung up with everything.
"Hey, wait up!" Jill came running after me, "What is up with you lately? You haven't been eager in class like you always have." I shrugged and we went silent for a moment.
"How are you?" She knew it wasn't the time to push my buttons so she went with how I was playing.
"Well, I do have some big news." The redhead lit up just by saying those seven words.
"What is it? You're not pregnant, are you?" She slapped my arm playfully, making me chuckle a bit.
"No, you ass! How can I be when Toby and I haven't even tied the knot yet?" We laughed after she spoke, knowing what she meant.
"So, are you going to lose it tonight?" My words came out as a joke, never have I imagined Jill's face contorting into a bashful way after I did. "Oh my god, you're losing your v-card to Toby!?"
She closed her eyes out of embarrassment, "Yes! Yes! Now can you stop being so loud? I don't want my first sexual intercourse to be the talk of the town."
"Oh my god, this is big news, Jill! What are your plans?"
She was flushed with relief and I could see it, "Oh, I don't know, we're going to talk about it later." As if on cue, Toby comes out of the blue with a big grin on his face.
"Hey," he lets out, making his way to Jill's lips.
"Look who's excited." I playfully say with a wink after their lips unlocked.
"So, you know, huh?" Toby smiles with a hint of embarrassment, "Anyway, mind if I steal your girl for a few?" I told him I didn't mind and they made their way out.
I call out for Jill and when she turned, I hold up my thumb then sheepishly displayed an air thrust with a wink—the redhead smiles and laughs. After a few seconds I regret such display because I catch Ms. Blake watching me with a small smile. Goodness, I thought.
My legs walked fast as it could but in certain defeat, Ms. Blake caught up with me. "What was that all about?" She asked playfully, chewing on a piece gum in the process.
I was surprised of how normal she talked to me, "So we're talking now?" I didn't try to hide the sarcasm in my tone.
The older woman lets out a sigh, "Look, Collins, can we just talk? I'm sorry about everything, that night at the beach..." We both stopped pacing and I tried my best not to look at her, instead I focused on unlocking my locker. "It did mean as much to me as it did to you, it's just that I'm scared."
"Scared? We're not doing anything wrong. You're the paranoid one who keeps on shoving up the past, but that's exactly it—the past. Can't we be normal people now? Jeez." This was the nth time I got flustered over talking to her.
"Yes! That's what I want. You're definitely right, I was paranoid before, but now I'm just less paranoid. I can make room for a friend." My eyes were still not fixated on her, just her voice.
Her voice was different, it was kind of... "Are you alright?" I finally take a look at her. "Your eyes are bloodshot and you look kind of pale."
"I'm fine." She coughs and I make out from that, that she clearly wasn't.
