Can We Be A Family?! [Editing]

Chapter 17: I hate you!

 Xan drops me at my him.

"You sure you gonna be okay?"He asks looking at me concerned.

"I'll be fine I have been dealing with this for three years I can deal with it for another two years!"I say.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for the three years!"He says and I cup his cheeks with my hands.

"It's alright I forgave you!Let's just forget about it!"I say and kiss him.

"Wait!What are you gonna do after two years?"He asks after pulling away from the kiss.

"I'll turn eighteen and I'll move out and I'll only come back for a few days or else I'll be out of here."I say.

"Whatever you do!I'll always be here."He smiles and says.I kiss him and this time none of us pull away.

Someone clears their throat behind us and we both groan.

"Jackson will you stop!"I say turning around to face him.

"Will you stop making out in front our house and at school!Or better stop making out with my sister!"He says and I chuckle at his protectiveness.

"I can't keep my hands off your sister so you will fail any attempts of not wanting us to make out!"Xan says with a sarcastic grin.I punch him in the arm.

"Ow!"He winces.

"I see you still punch like Wonder woman!"Xan says rubbing his arm.

"I'll call you later!"I say and kiss his cheeks.I drag Jackson by the elbow with me for him to stop glaring at Xan.

We enter the house and I see dad and mum sitting in the living room with my other step brothers.

"Sweetie are you alright?"Dad asks.

"Of course why wouldn't I be!"I say and put the blank mask that I have mastered over the years.

"You don't have to act like everything is fine!It is okay to be vulnerable!"He says and I resist myself from throwing my arms around him and crying.

"I am fine!"The answer I give when everything is not fine!

"Where were you?"He asks.

"That is for me to know and you to find out!"I say with a sheepish grin.

"Everly!"He says.

"I was with Xan and we went to our spot!"I say and he looks relieved.

"What spot?"John asks.

"That is for me to know and you to never find out!"I say.

"Why?"Jackson asks.

"So that you don't disturb our make out sessions!"I say and their expressions are priceless.

"What!"My dad and my step brothers shout while mum has a knowing grin.I turn and leave to go to my room.

When I enter my room I see all my brothers there.Their heads to my direction and they all scowl.

"You had to chase away again didn't you!"Ed says

"But luckily this time no brother went missing and died!"Ethan says and my eyes land in Erick you just stares at me with so much hatred.I know how it feels to be missing you other half even when he is right in front of me.

I just pretend to ignore them and make my way to the bathroom.I start silently crying.I look in the mirror and all I can think is that I am 

Pathetic

Useless

Worthless

Everyone hates you why don't you just die and do everyone a favor.

I close my eyes and take the razor blade I keep and slice my wrist so I could come back to his hell hole.My breathing calms down and I clean my bleeding hand.I get out of the bathroom and none of my brothers are there.I change into my pajama's and go to a dreamless sleep!