Becoming a DeMarlo

37: "Stop playing God!"

Chapter 37: "Stop playing God!"

I picked at the cuticles on my finger as I listened to the rings go through.

She didn't have my new number, so she couldn't have blocked me...right?

"Hello?"

Her voice was raspy, like I'd just dragged her out of sleep. Only then did I remember that the UK was eight hours ahead of California.

"Hi," I said, my stomach twisting as regret immediately settled in.

"Who's this?" 

I bit my lip as I thought of what to say.

If Elijah had paid them all not to talk to me, would she hang up if I told her the truth?

"It's me, Liza. It's Maya," I quietly answered, waiting for her to hang up.

She didn't.

She didn't speak either. I listened to her quiet breathing as I racked my brain for ideas of how to make her talk to me.

"I know you guys were paid to stay out of my life," I rushed out. "But it's okay. We can talk now."

Growing up, Liza and Johnny had been the cruelest to me out of everyone. They had made it painfully clear that I was nothing more than a nuisance in the family. And yet, there I was, gripping my phone like an idiot, hoping she would tell me she had missed me.

I wanted to hear that the stuff that happened when we lived together was just childish mistakes that they made, and they didn't truly hate me. Hoping she would say she would've reached out if Elijah hadn't interfered. 

I didn't know why, but I needed to hear it.

Unfortunately for me, it didn't seem like Liza was planning on speaking any time soon. 

"Please," I said, hating the weakness in my voice. "Just say something. How are you guys? Are you managing okay?"

"Actually, I'm not," she finally answered, her tone flat and annoyed. "I spent all the money your asshole brother paid us. I need more."

"Oh. Well I don't have money but—"

"Why did you call?" she interrupted.

I was beginning to ask myself the same question. 

"I don't know. I guess I just thought that maybe you guys would want to keep in touch. Not like we were ever super close but—"

I stopped when she let out a snort.

"Please. Unless you want to send over some money, I don't have anything to say to you."

I looked down at my phone, knowing it was a lost hope.

Why was I such an idiot?

"I don't have any money," I honestly spoke.

"Then fuck out of here," she coldly replied, before hanging up. 

For a few seconds, I just sat there, staring at nothing.

The anger that had been aimed at Elijah shifted and curled inward until it was all pointed at me.

 All of my ex-siblings had made me feel so unhappy and unwanted growing up, yet I still craved for some type of attention from them. Liza could ask me to clean up her room, and I'd be so happy that she spoke to me that I'd do it immediately, no matter how much work I had of my own. 

For the first time in months, I realized how deeply embarrassing that was.

I felt extremely pathetic.