In Which Karkat Has A Retainer, And Dave Is A Tease.

Your name is Dave Strider.

Your name is Dave Strider, and your friend- Well, friend? Roommate-friend? Fuck buddy? Goddamn Soulmate? Who knows. You and your roommate Karkat Vantas have been a little up in the air in terms of what the two of you are. You flirt like a high school romance, bicker like an old married couple, and fuck like traditional friends with benefits. All that aside - Karkat Vantas has stormed through the door, slamming it shut behind him. You figure he didn't mean to be so aggressive about it, because he catches you sitting at the kitchen island, and hastily tries to look casual.

"Whats up, Karkles?"

He glowers at you, feigning annoyance at the admittedly dumb-as-hell nickname. He looks like he wants to sling an insult back at you, or at the very least an oh-so original "Fuck you, Strider." Which you would, par for the course, reply to with "Maybe later, Vantas."

You have you and Karkat's thing down to a science, if you're honest. A fucking science. But instead of a string of insults, or any of the expected responses - He holds back, for whatever reason, and just throws you the bird.

You'd be lying to yourself if you said it didn't worry you. You can hardly get him to shut up most days. (Not that you really mind.) But guess what? Your name is Dave Strider, and you're excellent at lying to yourself!

"Cat got your tongue?" You sprawl from your seat at the kitchen island, now taking up two chairs lying back, leaning on one elbow, and using your other hand to make a loose "Nyah" pose that Nepeta's always doing. Smooth, Strider. Fucking hilarious.

Karkat, however, doesn't smile - He doesn't even sneer. He just rolls his eyes with his mouth clamped shut.

Something's definitely up with him. You try to remember whatever it was he said he was doing today, but you aren't really good at that whole Remembering Shit thing. While Karkat shuffles to take off his shoes and set down his things, you cooly whip out your phone to see if you can find anything on your Shared Calendar.  

The date is highlighted, and in his signature grey text, "ORTHODONTISTS" is typed out. Ah, so thats it. You think he'd be more relieved, he was supposed to get his braces off today, wasn't he? You expected him to burst through the door with a massive "EAT SHIT, DAVE!" After having to deal with your teasing for the past two years.

It's not like you never had braces as a kid, but Karkat doesn't need to know that. It's much funnier to watch him hiss and spit profanities at you until he chokes on his own saliva. It's his own fault for getting braces in adulthood, you tell yourself.

Regardless, you figured he'd be hollering about how "It's about fucking time!" And whatever other irritation he'd found with it. He'd probably send shivers down your spine with his fangs, and 100% use it against you whenever he could. You were looking forward to it about as much as he was, honestly.

But no, none of that. Instead he's sour and bitter. Looks like he could use some trademark Strider Time to cheer him up. You slink off of the two chairs you occupied, and make your way behind him. He either doesn't hear you or doesn't care - He's busy pretending to be very interested in rooting through his backpack and hoping you leave, looks like.

You snake your arms around his mid-section, giving him a sneak-hug from behind. You rest your head on his shoulder, leaning down a bit to make it work. (Hah. Shortie.) Your swift motion earns you a yelp from Karkat, and a shade of red dusting his ears. He turns around and pushes you back, and you are delighted to find that the candy red traces to his cheeks as well. +10 points for Dave. He finally opens his damn mouth, but it's only to sneer at you. You catch the glimpse of metal in there. Curious. 

"Nothing to say, Karkitten?" you lilt, raising a brow. Your eyes are hidden beneath your shades, per usual - so you look at him intently without hesitation. 

"fphfuck you, Schtrider." 

Holy fuck. 

Oh my shit.

Karkat Vantas has a retainer in. Karkat Vantas has a goddamn lisp. Karkat Vantas is wonderfully pissed at this concept. You crack a grin, slowly, but surely. He shrinks like an irate cat, (Not the first time you've made that comparison) and you're sure your shit-eating-grin only widens.

"Karkat."

Nothing.

"Karkles."

Nothing, yet again.

"Darling."