If Only, a TharnType Fanfiction

Chapter 6

Type stared at himself in the mirror, staring at his reflection and smiling at the view. Something he hadn't done in a while. His skin looked bright and his lips were a peach colour. He looked happy. But inside, was it really happiness he felt? He wasn't sure.

It had been a long three weeks since Type had spoken to Tharn, since that night at the bar, and Type was coping okay. He didn't feel the need to be around the man and he didn't get those horny urges like he did before. He guessed maybe he just suddenly grew out of it, he broke a habit he never thought he'd be able to but he managed it. Type now focused on his relationship with Puifai. The two were spending a lot more time together, Type arranging days to meet which ended up being almost everyday and he was okay with that. He rather enjoyed her presence and was only now realising it. Puifai also seemed a lot happier, Type wasn't distant or distracted and she liked it that way, as would anyone. But there was still a gut feeling that something was just a little askew with Type, not that she'd push him to explain it. She didn't want to ruin what they had going.

And Tharn's life continued as it always did. At the start of the first week he had tried calling Type, just to make sure he was alright but all his calls were blocked and eventually he gave up. He had been waiting for Type to knock on his door and ask for sex but it never happened, he had started staying up later just incase he would suddenly burst through the door and console with Tharn. But that never happened either and Tharn was quickly losing hope. He thought Type had forgotten about him, it sure as hell looked like that. Type's social media was covered in photos of him and Puifai, as were his parents. They liked to repost their son's photos with his fiancée and add comments like "We're so proud of our son!" or "Couldn't have asked for a nicer woman!" Tharn wished that was him. But nothing hurt more than when Type came over for the last time.

"Type? Didn't expect to see you again." Tharn opened his front door, his face surprised at the appearance of the slightly taller man. His denim jacket hanging loosely over his shoulders while his white t-shirt clung tightly to his body. It was somewhat unusual to his usual attire, the normal loose shirt or the blue jeans were now replaced by tight plain tees and tight skinny jeans.

"Come in." Tharn held the door open to Type who slowly walked in, his head hanging low in guilt. However Tharn never noticed. He instantly was behind him and wrapping his muscular arms around Type's body. Type tensed which was unusual, especially when it came to Tharn. The boy would almost always melt into his touch, lean into the arms but today he didn't.

"Tharn," Type began, turning his head to face Tharn's which was currently placed on his shoulder. Tharn only hummed in response, too happy that Type had finally come back. "Tharn," Type repeated, this time breaking away from the man's arms and facing him. Tharn took a step back. His eyebrows frowning with confusion. "I have to tell you something." Type stated. Tharn remained quiet while he felt the nerves creep up his back and fumble around in his head. "I don't want to do this anymore." Type stated after a long pause. His eyes fell instantly to the ground. He couldn't watch as Tharn reached out to grab Type's hand. He just stood still, looking to the side and at the floor while the man in front of him touched every inch of his body. Trying to metaphorically grab onto something, anything to get Type to stay. He held onto his hand. Type didn't have the strength to pull it away, he let the man glide his fingers over his own and hold it as if this was the last time.

"No, Type, you don't mean that." Tharn told Type, his cheeks becoming puffy and swollen as the tired eyes began to cry.

"I'm sorry, Tharn." Type apologised although that didn't change the situation. Tharn continued to hold Type's hand, pulling it to his own chest and making Type feel his heartbeat.

"Type, I'm sorry we got caught, we can hide it better, I promise. Just don't leave me, I'll be more discreet, I won't make a fuss of you, Type, please." Tharn pleaded. Type looked at him. The guilt he felt at that moment was like nothing he'd ever felt before. He felt horrible and all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.

"I...love Puifai...I'm sorry." Type replied, he sounded cold and that was something he would never forgive himself for. His words were also gradually becoming harder to say as he felt the tears creep up behind his own eyes. Tharn began to stumble closer to Type, his legs giving way and falling to the ground at Type's feet. He continued to cry, an arm reaching out to grab Type's leg. And now Type's eyes were watering. He repeated to himself that he wouldn't cry, he didn't want to make matters worse but he couldn't hold them in, he let out an almost silent wail which only made Tharn's cries louder.

"I'll change, Type. I'll do whatever you want me to but please, don't leave me. Please don't, Type." Tharn rushed his words, Type took a step back, breaking away from Tharn's arms around his legs and making a turn to the door. "Type! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I need you." Tharn continued, his hands falling to the ground either side of him as his posture fell and he sat slumped over himself on the hardwood floor. Type didn't even look back, he just took a deep breath and walked out the door. Closing it politely behind him and leaving Tharn to wail alone on his floor.