Mistakes in Paris

EP 07

I just wanna go home to my condo right now, when my presence is just for the sake of having a complete family dinner but they don't acknowledge you.

Kuya Vonne and Ate Yna came home last night and surprised mom kaya napilitan na rin akong umuwi at dito matulog. Dad was also here at nakikinig lang sa mga kuwento ni Ate at Kuya.

Mom was excited din kasi madaming pasalubong si Ate na luxury brands and Kuya was having a child. Kaya na-excite ulit si mom. I am happy for him pero I can't help but feel lonely, I really just wanna leave this table.

Ate Yna and Kuya Vonne was always mom's favorite. Sila kasi ang matalino 'tsaka stable na sa buhay. Habang ako still leeching off from them, kaya nga gustong-gusto ko nang gumraduate. I wanna build my own company but my parents doesn't know that, ang alam lang naman nila ay ako ang magmamana sa kanilang kompanya e.

Well, I'm not. Ayoko, I wanna own something na hindi galing sa kanila. It's gonna be hard pero luckily I have my own money na binigay ng grandparents ko.

I'm gonna start with it, it may be a big amount of money but it's not enough to build the company that I want so I'm starting small.

I'm sure mom will not agree pero I really want to, and if she doesn't agree, I won't force her to support me, I can build my own fragrance company.

My love for fragrance is outstanding and I have a collection of them, and there's only one kind of fragrance that I like and 'yun ang ginagamit ko and others are for some events or sa collection ko lang.

To be honest, I know I sound ungrateful for what I have, I am grateful but material things aren't the things I want in life, I wanted to feel appreciated and be acknowledged for the small things I do.

When you really grow up in a household that has every material thing, you'll realize that material things don't matter anymore it's how the people living in your home does and how you love and respect eachother.

I hope my children grow up in a household where I could provide more love and respect than the material things.

"For Christmas, Anak, we'll celebrate it sa Ancestral House kasama ang lola niyo." Mom said excitedly. I know she wants to see lola again dahil siya nalang ang mag-isa sa ancestral house at ayaw niya rin naman sa siyudad.

I'm actually excited for christmas too kahit bago lang naman nagsimula ang BER-months. I'm excited to see lola, siya lang naman ang kumakausap ng matino sa 'kin, we actually get along very well.

She listens and supports me if may kinukuwento ako tungkol sa mga kaharutan ko, her old days were purely flirting until she met lolo.

I also have told her about Benj and gusto na niyang makilala pero crush ko lang naman.

"I'm excited, mom. Lalo na si Ella, she wants to meet lola na rin kaso malayo naman kami." Ate Yna replied. I miss my pamangkins na rin. Sila lang nakakausap ko maliban kay lola.

They listen to my stories eventhough they don't understand some of it, but Ella does kasi she's the oldest. Kinikilig pa nga 'yon sa tuwing kinukuwento ko si Benj sa kaniya, crush niya rin daw.

"I'm sure mas excited si Ivory. Siya naman favorite ng lola niyo." I hinted a bit of sarcasm in my mom's voice pero hinayaan ko na.

I know my mom expects better from me, dahil eversince Kuya and Ate were born they excel in everything maliban na lamang sa 'kin.

And I think mom holds a grudge on me until now, sinisisi niya pa rin ako kung bakit nawala si lolo.

Lola doesn't think that way, she thinks oras lang talaga 'yon ni lolo para pumuntang heaven.