Her curled body tucked into mine, my arms wrapped around her, protecting her. Her heat seeped deep in to me and tiny beads of preparation formed on my chest. I fidgeted awkwardly she didn't seem to mind. In truth it seemed as thought she didn't notice anything but the shapes and shadows of our past lives drifting in and out of the tiny slit of a window. The same ones they use in detention cars, the exact same ones in fact. This was just a projects to them, a slight modification on the grand scale of things. Burning down our old lives and turning our villages into high risk detention facilities, then sending us out in the very same shuttle those ruffians previously occupied to increasingly dense cities, for a "new and well deserved fresh start". Of course they would have sanitized the shuttle beffore letting us on, somehow this was less comforting. Just another thing they'ved tooched, tarnished. Somehow sharring a shuddle with those ruffians would have been calmer. I was finding it hard to deal with the tention in the air. My heart racing, my body started to shake. I tried to distract myself.
I observed the scene being played out in front of me. It did not seem real, I saw them laughing and playing, running after one another. I saw for a moment an expression of sadness wash over one or two of their faces, but nothing like I had imagined. She was the only one acting in an appropriate matter for the circumstances; she was the only one trembling with fright, she was the only one who understood. That was apparent to me only now. Now that there was no return, now that the stakes were higher, now that I was responsible.
I didn't know where she'd come from or maybe I did, I just didn't want to accept the situation. She wasn't from the village, that was for sure. Even if you couldn't tell by her fair hair and skin or by her unusual religious habits, you would know by the way the other children inspected her. You would know by how they circled her from a distance, like vulture circling there prey and how they made sure no one saw them looking. They were sizing her up, judging her. Would she be a roaring engine, a loose screw or a bolt? That is how you can tell someone doesn't fit in, that is how you can tell they are different. For something can not be truly different unless everything else is the same.
~
They stood in a perfect line, straight as a domineers staff, solemn as a raven. All robots, all the same. The only thing keeping them from the perfect glaze of equality was there poor tattered clothes and there round soot covered faces. All too soon these anomalies, all of these perfect mistakes, and anything that makes a child themselves would be ripped from them and turned into porcelain. Tacky, painted porcelain, and all you can do is pray that it chips.
I made my way up the line with a pristine, white, cubic box. Collecting all personnel belongings, anything that might have given comfort in the darkness to come. Anything that might have kept one standing tall, anything that might have caused an uprising. I could feel the pain in me swelling up as each item was carefully positioned in the receptacle with trembling, pudgy hands. It daunted me to know I could be taking away the last spark of life from these children, I knew what I would see if I looked into there eyes. I also knew I could not bear to see every single one of those tiny flames of hope flicker and die when they realized the same fate would be forced upon them as the others. The deposit of each cherish, every revere was a weight on my shoulders, in both a literal and metaphorical sense.
I made it to the end of the line and checked the box. Sure enough I saw the low lull of the number zero. I had collected from every child leaving only shards of memories behind. My heart throbbed with pain at what I had just done. I had only been following orders, but I know that's the excuse of a coward. I kicked myself for being so weak.
This is what they're good at. Manipulation, taking people at there lowest point and instructing them to preform a task. When I had been appointed the job of collecting all remaining proof of they're past, my head had been so exhausted from my home being torn away that I didn't have to energy to refuse. I gave in. A robot just like all the others that filled those cities.
I turned my back to the broken children. I could not bear to see them, but somehow not looking processed in my brain as being even worse. I just took everything from these children and all I can give in return is the cold feeling that no one cares anymore. Something inside me held me in place. I had to do this. Maybe it was the knowledge that doing nothing is easier than doing something, even if doing nothing is doing something wrong.
Each step heavier than the last. I now stood in front of a blank white wall. I placed my hand against the flawless surface. Another dim light, the same hue as the zero on the cube in my hands, lit up from under my hand. Taking a print of my hand. The light faded away, only to release a new light, this time electric blue. It shone brightly from under the surface of the wall, forming a curvy line that started at the bottom of my palm and traced it's way up my pinky finger, taking form of the perimeter of my hand. I took my hand away from the blank sheet. The glowing outline of my hand only that, a replica. I waited for a momment while it proceces my print. The line continued on it's path away form my fading print, like a pulsing vien. It had outlined a perfect square. The light dimmed and the square pushed out from the wall forming a drawer. I carefully took the box of offerings and slid it into the drawer. A perfect fit, you may even say fits like a gauntlet, though i've never understood that phrase because gauntlets come in a variety of sizes, some fit, some don't. The drawer retracted back into the wall.
A warm lemony feeling pulsed through my veins. I now knew I had done the righ thing. This is what needed to be done and I had suceded. It's hard to let go of a life that's all you have ever known but it will be so much easier when we reach the city. We should just give in.
