Flower of Bulann

Chapter 41

Kinna seethed with anger, seeing Vior's happy face when cooing over a child that was not hers threatened to drive her mad.

She wanted to be happy for Ovinna, happy that her friend had safely given birth to a healthy baby boy... but her jealousy overwhelmed her.

She ordered Hinata to fetch her wine and told her not to water it down this time... though her handmaiden refused to acknowledge that she ever did.

Hinata's eyes also told her that she wanted to dote over the child too... Kinna Hated herself for making her pick sides, but she couldn't help herself, the wine made things easier... but also made her more resentful... why couldn't it have been her?

Kinna started to cry, ducking out of the room to save her embarrassment. She felt so pathetic, her tears came freely and she prayed to God that no one would see her.

But of course, he did not hear her prayer on this occasion, as he had not answered any of the prayers for a child she had offered for the last year.

Hinata saw her, and true to form came to comfort her.

"My lady, please, just tell Lord Vior how you are feeling... being this way will drive you mad!" Hinata pleaded, but Kinna didn't want advice right now, she wanted... wanted.

She snatched the wine from Hinata, draining the goblet in one before shaking off her handmaiden's hand.

"I do not need your advice, Hinata... I just, I just need to get pregnant... then Vior will take his eyes from Ovinna!" She admonished her handmaiden, but rather than cower or retort her... Hinata just cried.

Kinna couldn't deal with her own tears, let alone those of her handmaiden... damn this home and all in it! She pushed aside her handmaiden and made her way to the kitchens, taking two bottles of wine from the rack without regard for vintage... she just had to forget... everything.

When Kinna awoke she raised a hand to her forehead, hoping to block out the blinding rays of the sun.

"My lady?" Hinata asked in concern, though Kinna couldn't understand why... until she looked where she was.

Kinna found herself in the guest bedroom down the hall from her own, the door lock broken and Hinata panicked... empty wine bottles lay strewn around her, Kinna was only glad that Vior had not seen her in such a state.

Hinata fixed her clothing, covering what stains there were by reversing the frontal covering, though Kinna was certain that doing this hurt Hinata's pride as a handmaiden.

"Did you see... it?" Kinna asked her, trying her best to not sound spiteful... but failing.

"It? My lady," she replied innocently.

"Ovinna's child," Kinna conceded, forcing a wedge between the two friends was cruel... the one she'd forced between herself and Ovinna doubly so.

"I have not, my lady. I was worried sick about you all night," Hinata scolded her in reply.

"Then... perhaps... you, should?" Kinna said, though it came out as a question rather than a suggestion.

"Once you are clean and properly dressed, I will do that... but thank you for your approval, my lady," Hinata said as she finished arranging Kinna's sash.

Kinna in turn acknowledged her gratitude with a nod. Hinata deserved a better mistress than herself.

Once Hinata had made her look respectable, she departed to visit Ovinna and see the baby. Kinna knew she should do the same... that her absence made her seem petty and bitter... but she was, the thought once again driving her to crave drink, to lose herself in it again.

"Lady Kinna?" One of her husband's aides asked, peering into the room. "Forgive my intrusion, but no one answered when I knocked."

"It is fine... do you have business with my husband?" She replied with a sigh.

"Yes, my lady. Lord Kuan returns, he should arrive here by tomorrow at the latest," he said hurriedly.

Kinna told him Vior could be found either with the baby or in the training yard... for the two of them rarely spent time together anymore.

When the aide had departed Kinna sat on the balcony, her knees drawn up to her chest, and for the first time in a long while, felt like a complete stranger in a foreign land.

She sat there alone the whole afternoon, periodically fighting off tears. Kinna couldn't even manage to get up and seek wine... wondering if anyone would care if she even died.

Her morose mood was broken momentarily as a horn sounded, and with a dust cloud speeding along the roadway Kuan's return was announced.