Solitude

Empty Cup

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Amara Minerva Tag went home and started typing, as per usual during these past months.

She'd come back from the interview, replayed their recordings, then reminisce the ambiance of each story. She needed it so people would know that Roman Alaric is human too, he had feelings, and he had his quirk and habits. She wanted to prove them all wrong.

But after hearing her father's story, she couldn't help but notice that Roman Alaric sounded so detached when he narrated the story to her. As if he wasn't there, as if he was a mere bystander. Tag wondered if Roman Alaric ever thought of turning back the time and change his course of action that day.

" Probably not." She said to no one but herself. " He was very much in love with her, and if he did get the chance to reenact that moment, I bet he would do it all over again."

Her father's death was conflicting for her. She was hurting when her father gone, but he had never been home long enough to actually share a moment of father and daughter with her due to his job. The only reason she was hurting might be because her mother was hurting, and she loved her mother so, so much. People said that you shouldn't love too deeply, for their pain will become yours and their tears would turn into poison—your love would only drown you.

She stopped typing then clutched her chest. There was a strong sensation there like something broke inside her and its jagged edge was stabbing her insides.

" Oh no."

It seemed like she had been drowning for a long time now.

If she couldn't admit it to anyone, then she at least had to admit it to herself; that's what her mother taught her. She needed to tell herself that it's alright, needed to calm her heartbeat down, that's the price she had to pay for keeping a secret so bad she couldn't say it out loud.

She stopped the voice recorder and then started a new recording.

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There's no coffee for today.

" I ran out of coffee beans." She explained. The other occupant of the room only nodded in acknowledgment. " Shall we start?"

She stumbled on her words of greeting since usually coffee eases their tongue and their mind. Where were they? 'Your father's death' her brain unhelpfully supplied.

According to Roman Alaric, that one month was the worst month of his life. Mielle Renner found out about the murder, and she wasn't happy. She also 'ratted' him to his parents, though she failed to mention the reason why he did it,
"Almost as if she decided that this is the right time to rid herself of me" was his words. And to hear that while knowing Roman Alaric still counted her as a part of his little clique of trust made her feel left out, and despicable for having such a thought. She had come to terms with her feelings, but that did not mean she's ready for it.

The drama kept going; Mielle Renner never stopped her nightly escapades, his parents gave him the silent treatment for the whole month, his fiancée's parents forced him to marry their daughter as soon as possible—

—" Didn't they know she was cheating on you?"

" They did, even her parents knew, but I guess reputation mattered more to them." He said nonchalantly. " And it's easier to blame it on me and my schedule though we all knew that was not the case."

How could they blame him when nothing was his fault? She wondered. She realized that they lived in a different world, by different rules. She couldn't push her values to him. Justice and equality, she reminded herself. Equality poured problems to this man, strip him off of his power as it did to any human. Justice...what justice? Where's the justice for this man when he felt like the whole world was against him?