Let me go

Chapter One: August 3rd

August 3rd, it was past midnight and there I was, sitting on my chair in my bedroom, playing games on my computer and drinking an energy drink. I had a flight on that same day at 9:00. I could not believe that I was going to travel to the United States and live there for one year. That had been my dream for the last few years, and it was becoming real. I had been waiting for this moment for a very long time and thought I would be excited, but I had a different feeling entirely. I had finally reached the end of my long, anticipated road, but what feels like the end is often the beginning. My feelings were confused because the unknown had always scared me. To leave everything behind, family, friends, my country, and start something new by myself was truly terrifying. What if this wasn't the right choice? What if I wanted to come back home? What if everything that I was going through was preparing me for what I had asked for?

Seven months ago I fought with my best friend about a girl, and after that, we had never talked again. He was living in my house for the last semester because his mom got promoted to another city, and he wanted to stay in the same school. He always knew that I liked a girl that was his friend, and he had a girlfriend at the time. In January they separated; I did a party at my house, and he kissed the girl that I liked without telling me a thing and knowing that I had always liked her a lot. For revenge, I hooked up with his ex-girlfriend, end of story!

Six months ago I was experiencing the best Carnival of my life with my friends and falling in love with a girl, my friend's ex-girlfriend.

Five months ago I had a date with her, and it was terrible, I felt so bad! On the way to the movie theater, she slept on the bus, and we couldn't find a seat together. Both of us were nervous because we had always been friends, but fortunately, that wasn't the last date.

Four months ago I went to an exchange student training where everyone had brought their parents, and I was the only one alone. Three months ago I had turned seventeen at the end of May, and we did a big party with my friend that has the same birthdate. A month ago I attended a big rave with my friends to enjoy my last party. It was my last time getting high.

During the night I didn't want to sleep; all I wanted was to freeze time and just enjoy that moment. I wish I could repeat all the good times of my past one last time before leaving. One last party, one last hangout with my friends, one last trip to the beach, one last goodbye hug to my dogs and my cats, one last kiss goodbye for her. I stayed awake until five am talking to my friends and playing a game called Overwatch. I had one Redbull left, but I decided to sleep for a couple of hours, so I could have at least a little bit of energy for the day.

It was eight am on the same day; my dad came into my room to say good morning and said that my grandparents were waiting for me downstairs. I was feeling lazy, tired, and sleepy, but it was my choice to stay awake all night. After I had watched some youtube videos, I went to the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, and make myself pretty. I couldn't believe that this day was real, everything was just like a dream. I got the clothes that I had separated last night and wore them. It was dark blue jeans, tight-fitting, a blue shirt with a sign saying "Chicago", and a Nike light blue windbreaker jacket. I was all blue just like a Smurf. Then I had put my black shoes.

Finally, I went downstairs to see my grandparents and eat breakfast with my family. My grandpa came to hug me and my grandma did the same. In February, he was diagnosed with a disease worse than Parkinson's, and that hit me hard. The doctor said that he had five more years of life; when my mom told me about it, I felt devastated. The disease makes his muscles stop working little by little. In four months, he was already struggling to talk, to stand up, and to eat hard food. One of my fears was that something might happen to him during my exchange. At least he was there to see me leave