Fated

Chapter 28: Pack Bond

Addie's POV:

Xander leaving after giving me the most incredible orgasm hurt more than I anticipated. I rarely cried but apparently that wasn't the truth this week. It was strange because logically, I knew I was hurting but there was something else. Something so intense I couldn't get ahold of myself. It was like another part of me was in pain, a part I didn't know was there. It practically screamed at me and made the void of him leaving me after being so intimate even worse.

I sat up on the bed and stared at the closed door, tears streaming down my face. I drew my knees to my chest and hugged myself, dropping my head to my knees. Why did he have to leave? I didn't understand. He wanted to be close to me, he said that. He wanted us to sleep together. So why did he have to just touch me and leave?

I tried so hard to not cry but it turned into ugly crying and all I could do was desperately try to get ahold of myself. This feeling was so intense, more intense than anything I'd ever felt before. I physically hurt from it. Why did it hurt like this?

"Addie?" Tess said, knocking on my door. "Can I come in?"

"No," I said quickly, trying to stop the crying, trying to keep my voice even. "Not a good time, Tess."

"Addie," Tess said, her tone sympathetic. "I know you're not okay. I'm going to come in."

I shook my head but she stepped inside and closed the door behind her, rushing to my side and wrapping her arms around me. I barely knew Tess. I'd spent less time with her than practically everyone else but for some reason her hug was incredibly comforting.

"It's okay," she murmured. "It's okay, Addie. I know," she said, rubbing my arms.

"I'm not like this," I cried, keeping my head down because I was too ashamed to let her see my face. "I'm not this person. I never cry, I swear."

"I believe you," Tess said softly, rubbing my back. "You don't have to justify anything to me. I know you're strong, I've already seen it. Don't think for one second I'm doubting your strength right now because I'm not."

"I feel so weak," I admitted, shaking as I tried to make the crying stop. "This is ridiculous. This isn't me."

"You're not weak, Addie," Tess said, hugging me tighter. "You're not. It's the bond. The reason it's so intense is because you're not just feeling your own pain, you're feeling Xander's. That's why it's harder to control. It's not you, babe, it's really not."

"Xander's?" I asked, lifting my head.

She nodded and wiped the tears off my cheeks. "It's the shitty part of being a mate. When your mate is in pain to the level that he is, you definitely feel it. Shit, even I feel it and he's just my Alpha," she frowned.

"He left me," I said, hating the way my lower lip quivered.

"I know," she said, a pained expression on her face. "He didn't want to. Believe me when I say leaving you is the last thing he wanted to do. He asked me to come check on you the second he was out of the house. He wanted you to be taken care of even if he couldn't do it."

"Why couldn't he?" I asked, more traitorous tears escaping me.

Damn, this bond could really be a fucking pain in my ass.

Tess sighed and pulled me into another hug, setting her chin on my head. "It's hard to explain when you don't know what it feels like but... Look, Xander is the best Alpha anyone could possibly ask for. He's not like other Alphas. He cares so ridiculously much it's sometimes painful to be around. He wears everything so heavy. Anytime anyone in the pack is hurting you bet your ass he will not leave their side. He would do anything for his pack. Kaden and I had to learn a long time ago to find ways to ease the burden as much as we can because he just carries everything for everyone so much. And then there's you," she said, pulling back and lifting my head up to look at her.