Over Her Head 2

16.And after a month

Chapter 16

It's been a month since she got back here to the states but she feels as if she's even farther from home than Paris. The only person she had left here, her mother, is gone now; died less than eight hours after Julia arrived in Connecticut but she hasn't been able to grieve; not fully. She's too afraid that if she gives into it, soon there won't be anything left but a sobbing mess, and then who would take care of Chloe?

Julia sat quietly, looking down at her girl as she slept. She gently patted Chloe's back from where she lay on her chest, having just fallen asleep after filling up on breastmilk. Now she lay there against Julia, passed out without a care in the world. Julia smiled. Chloe's looks were starting to fill out and though Julia suspected that it was in part to her being Chloe's mother, this was the most beautiful baby ever. God, Julia was thankful to have her right now, feeling so alone, and she wrapped her arms around Chloe and buried her face in her hair, inhaling her sweet scent.

Still fresh as yesterday, she remembered the day she'd gotten here and rushed straight to the hospital. Her mother was in bad shape; the heart attack had been a serious one and though they'd already flown in a specialist, even she couldn't do anything to save Mrs. Montgomery. It had been too severe and too much time had gone by in between her having the attack and getting to the hospital. Thankfully, and by some miracle Mrs. Montgomery held on until her daughter arrived. There was so much she felt she needed to say to Julia.

"Mom!" Julia uttered, in tears the minute she stepped into the small room of the ICU. Her mom, who in life was such a strong and statuesque woman, now seemed so small lying there in that bed surrounded by machines. Julia went and took a seat at the bedside and leaned down, resting her head on her mother and crying.

It felt so hopeless as she lay there.

"...Jules?" It came weak, quiet, but it was there. Julia picked her head up, and with tears in her eyes, turned to face her mother.

"Mom..." she cried. "Mom...I'm so sorry!"

"... it's alright baby!" But Julia couldn't stop her eyes from flooding.

"You're leaving me. It's not alright!"

Julia let her tears flow. Her mother was all she had left aside from Chloe; the only person aside from her daughter who loved her unconditionally. She missed her father so much in that moment and had never truly felt more alone.

Her mom made her remember just how much she still loved her father and how much she and her father had loved each other. She was his princess, his whole world until the day a stroke claimed him all-too soon. Just before Julia's twenty-second birthday. God, she wished every second since that she'd had more time with him.

But Chloe...she hated to even admit that her mom was right. What if she was actually doing the wrong thing in denying Nick the chance to know that he had a newborn daughter? What if she were causing him and Chloe more harm than good in denying them the chance to know each other?

If she tried to say that she hadn't imagined what it would be like to introduce them she'd be lying. She'd wanted nothing but, for so long. But Nick and she...they were from different worlds, and in spite of the fact that she was so grateful to him that he'd given her the gift of a lifetime, nothing would change that.

Still, Nick had been so set on Olivia and for all she knew he still was. Especially since David was no longer a factor.

"No. You can't think like that."

"...you were Jonathan's life up until the day he died... give Chloe the chance to know her father."

Lovingly, she buried her face in a sleeping Chloe's hair and inhaled her beautiful, sweet scent, simultaneously wondering if she would ever get over smelling her daughter and laughed to herself. Gentle as a breeze, Julia kissed her daughter's head before she lay her down in the crib and rubbed her tummy before she walked out of the room and picked up the monitor on the table in the hall before she went down the stairs.