100 Ways to Kill Harry Potter: A Guide for Voldemort

1: Seventh Year Murder

I was walking alone in the corridors of Hogwarts, contemplating who my next murder would be. Just two weeks ago I was hiding the body of Cho Chang in the forbidden forest, with the help of my gang.

My gang was made up of a few other people like me. They thought torture and murder was fun; adrenaline rushing; exciting. Our group consisted of...

(Chao) the_chaotic_mind___: the torturer

(H) -patheticmemequeen: the murderer

(Katmue) katmue: the getaway driver

(Fem) FemmeFatale_68: the hider of the body

And me, (Haley) HaleyHufflepuff: the double agent.

This was my seventh and last year at Hogwarts, so I needed to do something big. And what's bigger than the boy who lived?

I need to get something straight. Just because I love murder does not mean I am a death eater. My gang and I are on no side; we live to kill, not to choose between good and bad like children.

Speaking of Voldemort, the noseless idiot who can't kill a one year old himself is back. He has been back awhile now, but the ministry spent all of last year pretending he wasn't back.

I am in the year above Harry Potter, so is everyone in my gang. I don't usually target kids, but this kid had escaped death too many times, and I was going to be the one to end that streak.

But how could we kill him?

We don't use unforgivables. It's too easy.

We could drown him in bleach... Or poison him. There's always the option of--

My thoughts were cut off by a man's calm voice, "Hello, Miss Jones." I was so occupied in my plot to kill Harry Potter that I didn't even see the bearded man walk up to me. "Would you do me a favor?" Dumbledore asked.

I cleared my throat, "Yes, sir."

He smiled down at me, I cleared my mind in case he tried to use ligeliemency on me; Luckily he didn't. "Go and tell Harry Potter that I would like to see him in my office immediately."

I nodded and stepped to the side to walk past the headmaster. Once I turned the corner, so Dumbledore couldn't see me anymore, I broke into a sprint.

To my relief, I found Chao and H chatting near the great hall. I rushed up to them. "I've got our next victim." I panted.

Chao's eyes lit up with mischief. "Who?"

H just started at me with a raised eyebrow, twirling a quill in their fingers.

I lowered my voice, "Harry Potter."

"Doesn't he have to be alive to save the world or something?" Chao asked a little to loudly, and H shushed them.

"Who cares about the world." H drawled.

"Besides, Voldemort couldn't even kill him. Imagine if we did!" I whisper-shouted.

The hall was filled with everyone's loud voices, so no one would hear us anyways, but it still wasn't the best idea to go around yelling about your plot to kill a famous kid.

"Oookay," Chao smirked, "When's it going down then?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?!" Chao and H yelped in sync. This time I shushed them. H had lost their usual calm composure for a split second before fixing their face back to expressionless.