" when the lycoris blooms "

XX2

--------------Wake me up inside-----------

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Beeping. It echoes endlessly. Just as endless, as this void of darkness. It's sickening.
The last thing I heard before these beeping was a crash.
But how long has this isolation begun? It already felt terrifying...yet comforting. Perhaps insanity has taken over?
No, that can't be it...It feels so lonely, you can't help but long for warmth. Or at least for a friend.
How does being in someone's arm feel like, again? Even the arms owned can't provide the warmth needed.
That's right. It's just complete darkness. Not a single presence around. Glancing around feels funny, since there's nothing else to see, and no movement to feel. How long has it been like this? It's hard to remember..

But then a light begins to grow bigger and brighter. It's beautiful. It resembles the big milky moon.
Remembering the details of it, then wondering, is that the moon? Then, there should be the rest of the stars, asteroids and planets, right? A soothing melody calls from the ball of light. It's beautiful, almost hypnotizing. It would be alright if eternal light was the surroundings, rather than eternal darkness.
There's this desire...longing and longing for the light the more it grew in size. Wait just a bit..
I'm coming.

"-ro!"

What was that?

"Sh-!"

What're you trying to say...?

"Ir-!!"

No...that's not the melody of the light.

"Ea-!!"

But the light's nearest to me. It can't be...coming from the darkness? How is it possible? There's no presence there at all. The melody calls for me louder, as if trying to fight the other one, which only got louder as well. What is happening?

"-Iro!!!"

Iro..? Who's that? The creator of this anime?

"Wait-!!!!"

Wait. That was the only word clear to hear. But wait for what? There's no such thing done all this time other than waiting, the light has finally come. Would waiting a little longer be okay?

I begun to gain back the ability to see my own arms once more, as the light kisses my skin, giving life to every part of my fragile frame. I almost forgot how I looked like, being in the darkness for so long.
How beautiful, indeed. I can't help but miss myself. Even these fat ankles are looking okay to me now.
My fingertips reach up to softly touch my face. Has my cheeks always been this squishy? The ombre hair I possess, with its creamy white color that fades to green at the tips, resembling a radish. It's very pretty and silky, I can't help but laugh.
That was my voice? How long have I not spoken verbally rather than internally? I love it. I feel happy.
I feel beautiful and worthy. Is this light blessing me with self-love? That's a very kind thing to do.

"YASHIRO-!!!"

Yashiro. Who's that?

"PLEASE WAIT, YASHIRO!"

I turn to glance around, there's no one here. I don't see any 'Yashiro.'
Is it the light? Is that 'Yashiro'?
Footsteps begun to echo through the darkness. Wait, footsteps?
My sight, which has adjusted to both the light and dark, focuses on a..rather small figure.
What's that? A rat? No..rats are probably a lot more smaller.

With the help of the light that continues to grow, I could make out what the figure really was.
They were human, and judging from their voice, a male. They wore dark clothes, so it was hard to detail out. Perhaps, a uniform? It must be the old one.
But...there was one part of them that stood out the most. His eyes. They were beautiful.
They shine like the sun, creating its own light in the darkness. It's an amber ocean of kindness and beauty.
Is that how the sun looks up close? Ironically, the light that was described as moon, shone brighter than the eyes of the sun. Which meant I could see it all.
The worry, the pain. Sadness, regret and guilt. Topping it off, was..genuine love.
Those eyes make me feel loved... The light might've been soothing, but those eyes made me feel whole.
Should I come to you instead?

"Ya...Yashiro...don't...don't go! Please!"

Go where?

"I...I still have..your wish..to be..be granted!"

What kind of wish..?

Their eyes were locked to mine this whole time. I had my voice back, and yet, it felt like I lost control over it.

"Ha...Hanako-kun...?"

So I am Yashiro. And the boy with sun eyes is Hanako-kun.
But I've never met him before. It felt like I've seen him before but that's it.

Taking a deep breath after all the huffing and puffing, he held out his hand in front of me.
It was calling me. It radiated the warmth I've been longing for. I wanted to know the comfort I'd feel if it wrapped around me, shielding me from the darkness, that I hope to no longer associate with.
It's a battle between the sun and moon, and I am a star that needs to pick a side.
The sun is all I want, but the moon is all I need. It's those situations where you know which one is right, but you can't bring yourself to pick from both.

"I...I'm sorry, Yashiro."

And that's when I begun to reach out my own hand to grab his. I don't know why he's saying sorry, but it's a magnet pulling me close. It's like my hands were a lock and his were the keys. My fingers placed itself on his palm. It was soft. The moment our fingers intertwined, it's like a puzzle was completed. A perfect fit. Euphoria rushed in me, as my eyes lit up in joy. Hanako-kun wore a gentle smile. I remember that smile.
He gave me the exact same one before. I might've forgotten his name and my own, but somehow, I immediately recognized the way the corner of his lips tugged. I couldn't help but wish I never did what I've done, whatever it was, and maybe he wouldn't have the eyes that tell the amount of burden his shoulders have carried.

"Let's go back...Yashiro."

Another pair of hands grasps both of ours.

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---------END--------

July 20th, 2020 • Thursday, 3:04 AM
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