The Popular, The Loner, & The Troublemaker

10🌻 Have you heard...I don't care about what you heard, it might not be true

I prefer crying at night.

Than crying when the sun is bright.

Crying in the wind where nobody could hear your voice.

And letting your tears fall isn't a choice.

Where I think of all the bad things at night.

Sometimes I like doing just that.

From yourself, you hide the truth.

From yourself, you make yourself not believe.

But thinking and talking of the reality.

Is when you see the truth.

And that is when the tears start to pour.

That is when you start to grieve.

When you lie on the floor.

Thinking of everyone you deceived.

Sobbing like a boar.

And I just think is this my fate or is it something more?

I'm lying to myself much more than I can count.

I'm hiding from a reality bigger than I know.

But the biggest fact is I already know the truth.

I'm crying

I'm lying

I'm hiding

Crying from everything that is going on

Lying to myself that everything is fine

Hiding from those who stick around me

And that is where I am.

Here I am, on the floor crying in the night just before the stroke of twilight... or was it midnight?  Regardless, my brain was so frazzled up that I forgot.  It felt like I've been crying for several months.  Honestly, it is just crazy.  I should be overjoyed.  My best, best, best, best, oh did I say best, best girl friend had woken up from the hospital.  She was still there.  And of course I see her every day.  And she is happy as ever to see me.  She is getting released either today or tomorrow. But why am I sobbing as sad as never before?  From just everything I guess... Everything happened in a short amount of time just like that.  And thankfully everyone who found out what I did made sure it stayed between them.

Those populars are still trying to so-call "help" me fit in.  It is obviously because I am somebody that is now current because of my little stunt on that troublemaker.  Speaking of which, I am not gonna get close to him.  Nope.  He doesn't even know that I dated his cousin.  How bizarre is that?  Then Alec and his little troublemaker buddies are trying to bring me into everything to join them because I'm apparently quote on quote 'Not like most girls.'  That is the stupidest thing I'd ever heard.  And it sounds so cliche.  Just ughk!  Then there is Cora, Cameron, Lydia and her twin who constantly expect it to be the same as before.  Why are there so many twins?  I feel like I know so many.  There are my best friends who are twins and then my school friends.  Everyone is pulling me in ever direction.  Maybe I am also here because Kay has forgotten six months of her lifetime.  And three years was taken away from her just liked that.