Jonah (bxb)

I

Jonah felt like he was the biggest loser in the world, as he unpacked his suitcase, haphazardly placing articles of clothing into random drawers of his dresser.

Leaving home had felt like the first good decision he had ever made. His parents were happy he was going to college, and he was happy that he was finally doing something to make them proud.

But now, as he finished unpacking, and sat on the bed in his old bedroom, in his parents house; he felt like crying- feeling like crying had become a sort of trend in Jonahs life.

Two years.
Jonah had only made it through two years of college before fucking everything up.

Jonah signed, letting out a shaky breath- dreading having to go downstairs and face his parents- who hadn't even greeted him when he returned home.
He knew his mother was angry with him, he was always making her angry. His father was probably unbothered, he was always unbothered. Jonah almost hated his fathers nonchalance more than his mothers spite, at least he could tell that she cared for him- even if her love came out through her disappointment.

He stared at his hands, willing himself to just walk downstairs, apologize for being a fuck up, then go back into his room and maybe take a nap. The bus ride back home had been three hours long, and he felt drained.

He ran a hand through his curls and stood up- deciding to get it over with.

——-

He found his mother in the kitchen seated at the ceramic island drinking hot tea, and reading a novel. Her light brown hair was pulled into a loose yet neat bun, and she was dressed quite formally for just being in the house- maybe she was going somewhere soon.

"Hey mom." Jonah greeted her with a tired voice, as he entered into the room stopping on the parallel side of the island.

She looked up from her book- her dark eyes giving him a once over before she exhibited a tight yet rare smile. "Hello Jonah, how was your commute."

He responded "It was okay-" he paused "long."

She gave a small nod then took a sip of her tea- as if readying herself to say something severe.
"Your school informed me of the reason you had been failing."

Jonah inhaled tightly glancing away from her for a moment. He knew they would have to have this conversation at some point, but he had hoped it would have been later- preferably after he napped- or never.

His mother continued"Why did you stop attending classes regularly?"

Jonah struggled to find an appropriate answer that would sate his mothers curiosity, but equally make him seem okay- the last thing he wanted to do was tell his mother the truth.

Jonah spoke carefully"I was having some problems, but it was irresponsible of me to do that, Im sorry."
She responded "Being irresponsible is a bad excuse for wasting your father and I's money."

He knew she was right- and he didn't know how to tell her that these 'problems' he was having encompassed him. He was the problem. He felt like he couldn't reach or see anything outside of himself sometimes. He didn't know how to tell her that some days he couldn't even get up to eat- never mind attend class. He didn't know how to tell her any of these things- so he didn't.

"I know, i'm sorry" he paused "can we please talk about this tomorrow- i'm really tired from waking up early and I'm getting a headache."

Her eyes looked him over- her mouth turning downward in a frown- she nodded.

He left back to his room before she could say something else.

——-

In his room he changed his clothes into something more comfortable and pulled out his phone. There was a text from his friend Jack- the only person that knew he had come back home.