More Than It Hurts You {Iromatsu}

Untitled Part 1

Sometimes, I wish I didn't have a soulmate. I know I do, everyone does. Somehow. Honestly that's never been explained, but somehow, every person in the world has, and eventually meets, their soulmate. Sometimes it's under unbelievably coincidental circumstances, but it always happens.

So far, only two of us sextuplets have met theirs. First was Jyushimatsu. He'd been very worried about his for a handful of years before he met her. She'd been experiencing a lot of pain on the inside of her left wrist, sometimes daily. The day the met had been the day she intended to die.

One woould think the prospect of meeting your soulmate would be enough motivation to continue living, but she believed wholely that whoever her soulmate was would be happier never knowing her.

Before she got the chance to jump, Jyushimatsu came by. Something about him made her wait and just listen to him swinging his bat. Then she heard him yell, and her lungs began to burn. She panicked, and raced to pull him out of the water, realizing as she did that this was him. Her soulmate.

Todomatsu was next. Not quite as dramatic of a story. He was working at Sutabaa, when an attractive man came in. The two made eye contact, which they didn't break until Todomatsu yelled in pain at the hot coffee overflowing from the cup and burning his hand. The man just stared as Todomatsu recovered, and reached for him. Grabbing his hand, he said, "it's you." He pinched his own arm, and Todomatsu felt it. That's how he met Atsushi.

The rest of us are, of course, very happy for them! Somewhat jealous, maybe. But we all know our time will come. Well... maybe not all of us.

Osomatsu insists that Totoko is his soulmate, despite no evidence to his claim. For instance, there have been many tinmes where she would punch him, and her punches hurt. She's never said she could feel the pain from those punches. And she rarely, if ever, get injured, so there's no way for him to really know. Just wishful thinking.

Choromatsu likes to believe that one idol, Nyaa-chan, is actually his soulmate (of course he does), despite the situation being like that of Osomatsu, no ecidence, just wishful thinking.

Ichimatsu... he claims he has no soulmate. That he's never once felt pain that wasn't his. That it would only make sense for him not to have a soulmate, being a living heap of trash. I don't believe that's true, his soulmate is probably just a very careful person, and any injuries they sustain must be negligible enough to not be transfered through the connection.

That leaves me. As I said, I know I have a soulmate. Everyone does, and I've definitely felt his pain before, many times. I can always tell when it's not mine, and every time it happens, I can't help but worry. What happened? Is he okay? Did someone hurt him on purpose? Oh, that's another thing. I know my soulmate is male, since he's been hit in the dick before. I'll try not to bring that up once I finally meet him.

Now, since I know I have a one, and I know that meeting your soulmate is the best feeling you could ever experience, why? Why would I wish I didn't have one? The answer is my brothers. Most specifically, Ichimatsu.

I don't like hurting others. Even in roughhousing, even in self-defense, or hell, even in others' defense, I don't like it. I'll only do it if I need to. My brothers don't share my stance on the topic. They've always been the types to lash out, using violence for even the silliest of things. Osomatsu less so, for some reason. Maybe because he usually brushes things off and doesn't get as mad. Maybe because he provokes their ire more often than they do his. I'm not sure.

The point is, my brothers hurt me. Quite often. Usually they fully mean to, but sometimes it's not even on purpose, sometimes they don't notice, sometimes, I'm just a casualty. But it happens often enough and badly enough, that I know he feels it. I feel horrible, being the reason that another person, my precious soulmate, no less, has to suffer. He probably already resents me, and I couldn't blame him. Or maybe he's constantly worried about me being hurt so often. Which is worse?

If I didn't have a soulmate, no one else would have to feel this pain. If I didn't have a soulmate, no one else would be aware of the extent of the damage I'm dealt on a daily basis.

I don't tell my brothers to stop. There are several reasons for this. The probably wouldn't believe me when I say it's to avoid hurting my soulmate. They'd call me a wimp and probably hit me just because I asked them not to. Also, if they weren't harming me, they might choose another target. At keast this way, it's only me that has to suffer directly. My soulmate would feel the pain, yes, but more of a phantom of it. I can only pray he'll forgive me one day for not better protecting him.

But, even after all that... I can't bring myself to truly and fully wish not to have one, for selfish reasons. It is said that one of the greatest joys in life is when two soulmates realize and acknowledge each other as such. And I live for that day.