Domesticated America

Evelyn

“The riots just seemed to stop .  . . there was an unsettling quiet that everyone had to get used to. After some time, we learned that the quiet was known as peace.” Book of Knowledge (pg. 234)

When I was a child, I had been scared of most things. Now imagine, everything terrifies you, but your parents don’t care because they can’t remember the fear. The sweaty palms, the over heightened senses, hysteria threatening to mass produce tears you have absolute no control over. After a serious incident, my parents decided to take me to a counselor. Drugs were prescribed to children, anyone under the age of eighteen, since those were the ones threatened by the anger and all the other emotions. After that I felt as number and far away as everyone else acted, it was great. Eventually I grew out of these episodes and my parents decided to not refill my prescription. But here I am now, in a pristine office that belonged to my father. His body was slumped against the wall, blood decorating the previous white walls.

I felt out of the situation since the police that came flooding into the room went straight to Jaxyn, my sweetheart, sensing him as the danger. Yes he was holding the gun, would they even believe me if I told them I had shot my father? I took off the gloves and tossed them on the floor. Clasping my hands together, I felt nothing but the frozen dry skin. I stared at Jaxyn’s hands as they cuffed him.

The police started beating him, acting like Jaxyn was causing a fight even though I could tell he forced his body limp to avoid this. He could hardly escape the city if he was beaten. His shirt slides up just the tiniest bit, and I see something white outlined in black. His shirt inches up a little more and I see a dove, I instantly lose it. I start sobbing and realize how loud and hearbreaking it is when Jaxyn and every police officer look towards me. At least this is a semi normal reaction. My father did get shot, that’s what they think is causing this senseless display of emotion. Then again, every person in this room must be uncomfortable. I shake my head and cover my face and walk out the door, act like I need to get out of there for their sake. I stand right outside the door when I see them drag Jaxyn out beside me. He keeps eye contact with me the whole time, his eyes speaking oceans of words. It’s hard fighting back another wave of tears, but somehow I manage. I blow him a kiss and hope nobody sees, but it doesn’t matter.

I have to go over the fence. We did not plan all this, to kill my father, apprehend the guards, just to stay on this side of the fence. I saw the look in Jaxyn’s eyes, he wanted me to go. He knew I would come back for him when it was declared safe again, I could easily break over the wall. I will come and save him. Our love story will have a happy ending, I just know it. I walk calmly out the building, and as soon as I breathe the Seattle fresh air, and see the Paix in the distance, I’m off running at top speed.

I wonder if my mother has heard the news, could she muster up a cry? Is she panicked, is she worried she might remarry? Is she concerned about me? Does she remember I was going there too? Does she figure I left before?

I run to the wall and don’t stop in surprise as I see a hole big enough for a crowd to walk through where brick should have been. I see the Untamed coming in and I’m surprised I can recognize that it’s them. I’ve only heard stories from Jaxyn, but the way he tells them I feel like I should go up to these people and shake their hands.

I settle for being on the outskirts of the crowd, moving in the opposite direction. I admire them for their braveness to come over and force the government regulated population of civilians to choose the right side, to put their lives in jeopardy just to make sure these people know it’s not too late, they can come and live the rest of their lives happy and know what it truly means to be free.

As my feet go over tall grass, I ignore them scarping along my legs as I look for the meet up spot. It’s a certain tree, apparently very hard to miss. I see a group of four huddled directly under the tree and the others are going around, scouting the place, discussing how they are going to adapt here.

Everyone looks up at me, they all recognize me by now and I can maybe pick out to faces, but not enough to call them out. “Where is Jaxyn?” I hear Tyler question from somewhere in the crowd.

He comes out and looks at me, I can’t read his expression. Suddenly he puts two together. “I knew he would do something stupid, I should have gotten rid of you while I had the chance. Don’t you feel horrible? It’s supposed to be him standing here right now, not you! You didn’t preach this idea for your whole life. But I’m sure you’re used to the royal treatment, right princess?”

I stare at him, tears streaming down my face. I can’t argue with anything that he just said. It’s all true, every last word. I turn and walk away, knowing nobody will follow me. Maybe I will find another group of people who will accept me, who won’t ask me who I am or where I came from, wonder if I left anyone on the other side.