Modern Day Breakfast Club

I'm So Fucking Sorry

  All of them turned to look at me with smiles spread across their faces from laughing which soon would disappear, I looked down at my hands laid softly in my lap.
   "Why are you here, Casey?" Alan asked after I hadn't answered him the first time, surprised he cared enough about me to even ask.
   I hesitated, staying quiet for a while, not sure at all what to say but spoke anyway, touching my bruised arm lightly, "Everyone, whether they want to admit or not, has pressure."
   "What do you mean?" Cassandra wondered.
   "Like Alan, his pressure is to be good enough for his father, and Bram, his is to get perfect grades...but my pressure is to stay alive," I murmured.
   "Why?" Alan asked.
   "She feels things much deeper then everyone else," Brent said quietly, making me look up to see him looking at me seriously.      
   "What happened to you?" Bram asked me.
   "My dad, we both dealt with my mom's death in two completely opposite ways, I couldn't even be around him anymore, he always found a reason to hurt me," I replied softly feeling Brent's eyes on my arm.
   "What do you mean by hurt?" Abby wondered with wide eyes.
   I pulled up my sleeve revealing a few bruises and burn marks from my dad making all of them look at me the way Abby did when she asked, I pulled my sleeve back down and spoke.
   "I got in here because Mr. Reynold found a switch-blade in my back-pack," I admitted seeing tears fall from Abby, Bram, and Cassandra's eyes.
   "Why did you have the knife?" Alan asked in a serious tone of voice, looking at me intently, I didn't answer him then he spoke again, "You can talk to us."
   "I fucking hate talking about it," I mumbled.
   "Why?" Brent asked this time.
   "Because everyone would think I'm a selfish, egotistical bitch who's only feeling sorry for herself...but I hate myself," I answered quietly.
   "Why?" Cassandra wondered.
   "You don't know what it feels like to have your own father beat the shit out of you for no fucking reason at all, and I sincerely hope that you never have to go through that, there are so many days that go by that I just wish I was gone, that I should listen to my father and kill myself like he fucking told me to and slit my throat, because I could've disappeared and no one would give a shit," I let out, still speaking quietly, all of them were crying, even Brent let a tear fall when I spoke again, "That's why after today, I want us to be at least friends, today I realized that I'm not the only one who gets hurt by their father, that everyone has pressure, and that there are other people who care enough about me to listen."
   "I promise you that I will never turn my back on you, your my friend, and I'm so fucking sorry I said those things to you, and to the rest of you, I'm sorry for the things I said today that hurt you," Alan promised still crying a little, making me smile at him calling me a friend.
   "I promise too, I'm so sorry for being so conceited...it wasn't my intention," Cassandra apologized then turned to Bram and hugged him tightly seeing him still crying, I heard her tell him, "I'm sorry, Bram, I'm so fucking sorry."
    "God...are we gonna be like our parents?" Alan asked quietly.
   "No...not me," I answered seeing Brent look up at me then nodded and smiled slightly, but I could tell something was bothering him.
   "It's unavoidable...just happens," Abby looked up at Alan who was giving her a tender, caring look.
   Abby just sat and smiled at me and Bram gave me a quick, friend like hug, Brent squeezed my hand then got up to go back to the room he was in before he came back here.
     I accepted each and every apology I was given, happy that all of them were genuine and that I didn't have to worry about being ditched at school on Monday...now all I want is to talk to Brent...alone.