English Rose - Alycia Debnam Carey

Thoughts

The car ride back home was mostly silent. The rain on the road, few lights reflected in the puddles, atmospheric music slowly playing while my eyelids became heavier each second and my thoughts louder. The encounter played on repeat instead the evening I spent with my friends. She was on my mind. Again. I was seing her delicate features and mesmerizing eyes each time I closed my eyes. I couldn't forget the broken sparkle in them when I knew I ended everything, causing it. It ended so badly, so rough, so violent in it's lack of words.

-Y/n? We're home darling!
I head Alex say with his soft hand on my thigh.
-Yes... Sure!
I took my bag and thoughts with me inside. Without a word I took my make up off, watching blankly at my reflection, not really sure if I liked what I see. A strong woman who overcame a destroying love story or a stubborn one who refused to swallow the pill and face explanations? I wasn't so sure tonight.

-Are you okay? You're silent since we entered the car...
-Yeah... Yes... I'm... Fine... I'm tired and a bit overwhelmed by all of these things you know?
I said with a subtle chuckle. He placed himself behind me, enveloping my petite figure with his arms, a shy smile draw it' s way on my lips.
-I know... I'm sorry you had to face Alycia again and learn about Maisie's pregnancy in the same evening... The last part should be enough don't you think?
When he said her name I could feel the thin lame caressing my heart indeed. Bitter sweet.
-Well, yes! I'm so happy for them! Who could think they would be the first of us to have a child?
-Why? It should have been you?
-In everyone's mind yes, I guess. Maisie and Harry never seemed to consider it, Miles has a girlfriend for not so long as well...
-While us are dating for a moment now, in a perfect flat, perfectly together in our perfect lives.
He said sarcastically.
If only he knew I was thinking "No. Because at first, everybody, including myself thought I would end my days with her..."
-You know what? I think the idea of... You know... Raising a baby us with you is really pleasing...
My eyes focused again, looking shook by the statement.
-Hey it's just an idea darling. Nothing serious! I know you're not ready and you don't want to settle yet, don't worry.
With that, he kissed my head and went to bed while I follow few times after.

The night was long. So many news, things to think about, to doubt, to question. 3AM. I was still fully awake so I stood up, took a blanket with me and prepared myself a cup of tea and went to the balcony. The night was fresh, the tea's steam was dancing below my lips, the cover keeping me warm enough. Her words on repeat "I need to talk to you someday. Soon. Just come back" should I? What am I risking if I go back?

-Y/n ? What are you doing here? It's cold!
-You scared me! No I'm fine don't worry love!
I said, turning back with a fake smile.
-What keeps you awake that late?
He stood then next to me.
-Honestly?
-Honestly!
-Alycia... I... She told me to come back to talk...
-Then go! I think you should, if you're thinking about it this loud then it's because you have to go.
-Really?
-Yes! As you told me, you left, she actually never had the chance to explain anything to you. You don't know anything as well, you deserve to know in my opinion.
I didn't say anything back, I just smile, hugging him as strong as I could. We stood there in a confortable silence for awhile before going very late to sleep again or finally.

•••

Days passed. October was on it's way, leaves fading, the rain a constant weather, warm covers, teas...
Friday night. I was finally driving back from school, music I love blasting in my car. I felt relieved. I knew a nice dinner was waiting for us, not worrying about the alarm on the next morning. As I drove peacefully, I saw that my usual way to come back home was banned for few days for a reason I didn't know so I had to take some other roads and try to remember where to go. I was near Maisie's place so since there it became easier. Easier until I saw her shop. Nice white shop, flowers everywhere. I checked the clock. 5:46PM. Should I stop? And for a split second, I decided that, yes, I should stop. It was my chance to finally do it! I didn't know where this would lead but I had to do it. For the best or the worst.

I was standing between the lilys and lavender outside, seeking inside, seing her silhouette moving around, drawing the shyest smile on my lips. She still had this effect on me. Even if I broke up with her because she kissed someone else. Her aura was magnetic. It brought you to such a peaceful place, knowing you could trust her, let her take care of your happiness and heart. I pushed the door. My eyes locked on her, shy, scared, intimidated.

-I hope I'm not to late?
-Oh no, you have still few good minutes! What can I do fo... Y/n???
-Hello!
-You came back?
She said relieved, like she was hoping for me to come everyday.
-Finally yes.
I smiled.

_______________________________________

HELLOOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!

Can you believe it??? An update???

I hoped for writing a longer part but then I realized it was better to write their talk in a proper part 😌

Hope you enjoyed reading this new chapter and hope you like the new style of the book! Tell me what you think! I would love to have your reviews haha

Take care, love x