Emma: Freshman Year

Chapter 1: Desolation

Emma lay on her bed with a blanket wrapped around her body, staring at the ceiling as tears streamed down her cheeks. The entire bedroom was dark, with the only light source coming from the moonlight peeking through the window, casting an eerie glow on everything in its path. The floor was littered with various articles of clothing, and the closet was left wide open, revealing even more clothes on hangers, crammed together like sardines. On the far side of the room stood a short, white dresser with a large, framed mirror on top of it. The walls held various pictures of Emma, her parents, and her friends. 

Sniffling and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Emma suddenly sat up in bed and kicked off the blankets, revealing her naked body. Every rib in her torso, as well as her collarbones, stuck out drastically. Her stomach was sunken in with chronic undernourishment, accentuating her already-obvious hip bones. Her limbs were stick-thin; not to mention the fresh, bloody cuts and old scars present on both forearms and both thighs. 

At the end of the school year, Emma had given birth to a baby boy, who was the result of an unplanned pregnancy after having intercourse with her classmate, Josh. She had hidden the pregnancy from her mom as long as possible, to the point where it was too late to receive an abortion in the state of Colorado. Emma's mom, in a fit of rage, kicked Emma out of the house. Desperate, Emma then ran all the way to the nearest overpass, climbed on the railing, and was about to jump off and end her life. However, she was stopped by her best friend Lizzie and Lizzie's dad Craig, who also happened to be Emma's mom's boyfriend. Craig then gave Emma a ride home and talked her mom into letting her live with her again. 

But that did not stop Emma's pregnancy from progressing. Before she knew it, she was doubled over with labor pains on the floor of the school bathrooms. It was there that she gave birth to Carter. However, Emma was scared out of her mind after seeing her own child lying there in a puddle of blood. Grabbing the umbilical cord, Emma yanked it out of her vagina, ripping the placenta from her uterus and ran out of the bathrooms, half-naked, leaving her crying baby and a trail of blood behind her. But Emma did not get very far, for she passed out from the loss of blood and woke up later to find herself in the hospital. 

However, Carter had ended up in the neonatal intensive care unit and was not doing well. With the help of her nurse, Emma went to visit him, but during that time he stopped breathing. Emma watched as the doctors and nurses tried to resuscitate him, but with no luck. Carter died that very day, and ever since then, Emma was burdened with immense guilt. She knew she was the one who had caused Carter's death by abandoning him in the school bathrooms. She had even tried to commit suicide twice while in the hospital, but did not succeed. Her stay in the psychiatric hospital did not do much good either, except for her counselor Julie telling her to "hang in there" for her family and friends. 

And that was exactly what Emma was trying to do. She knew her mom couldn't care less whether or not she was gone, but she knew her dad would be devastated. Emma and her dad were close, and even though he spent most of his days in Afghanistan---for he was in the U.S. Army---he would always spend as much time with Emma as possible on the rare occasions he came home. 

Emma's friends were another source of comfort. Lizzie was outgoing, chatty, and quirky. She proudly boasted the title of being Emma's best friend, although Emma wasn't sure if she agreed with that or not. When Lizzie was in a good mood, she was a fun person to be around; however, her emotions were as fickle as her personality. 

Heidi and Sharyn, whom Emma had met just last school year, were dependable and kind. They had comforted Emma when she was crying in the halls one day after being taunted by her peers. Heidi had a bright personality with a mischievous tint to it, and Sharyn was calm, collected, and easygoing. 

However, despite having three current friends, Emma still missed her childhood friend Hannah. The two of them were inseparable as children, but when Hannah was enrolled in a private school by her parents, the girls started growing apart. Emma was still invited to Hannah's birthday party, but Emma felt more and more like an outcast among Hannah and her new friends as the evening went on. After finding her homemade card to Hannah in the trash, Emma was so fed up with Hannah's behavior that she completely destroyed Hannah's bedroom and all the belongings in it. After finding out that Hannah's mom accidentally threw away the card along with the wrapping paper from Hannah's gifts, Emma was so overwhelmed with guilt that she cut herself, and almost overdosed on Nyquil before her mom walked in the room. Not to mention, she completely destroyed any friendship that she had left with Hannah, and neither of the girls spoke to each other since.