Euphoria

4~Elli

Parker's POV

We get to A4, our class for English Lit. September walks away to Geography. I like her. She seems really fun.

We're the first ones in class.

Is this going to be awkward again?

"Hey, Jones?" I look up

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for everything." He mutters delicately. I smile quietly.

"No problem."

I pause for a second before saying something again.

"Can I give you a suggestion?"

He hesitates "Sure."

"Go see someone about your anxiety. It seems kinda bad."

I feel tension pouring into the air. His fists clench up so tight that they might explode.

"I told you I don't have anxiety."

And with that, he sat down, avoiding my stare, reading a sci fi book.

What is wrong with him?

Kids start to flood the room bit by bit, but they're all a blur compared to Jae. I can't take my focus off him. He's messing my brain up. He's too confusing. My stupid brain cells can't comprehend what he is. And what I feel about him.

"Hi Parker," a girl says, smiling. Oh.

"Hi Grace."

"I booked us a spot in Cafe Rose Spring for two o clock tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure." I say, my eyes drifting over her head towards Jae. Stop it, Parker.

"I'll pick you up at quarter to 2."

"Okay!"

As I watch her walk away, my mind buzzes repetitively, like a phone on drugs.

Jae, Jae, Jae, Jae, Jae...

I glance behind me and I see Jae staring at me softly. I look away. My heart is pounding and my hands are slick with sweat.

Dang it.

"Parker Jones, what does the heron in this poem represent?" Ms Danner says. I look at the poem and frown.

Pale gold horizon
A grey heron in the mist
Searching and searching

"It means..." I say muddled "It means..."

A hand rises.

"Yes, Jaehyun?"

"It represents the feeling in life that we're always going to be unsatisfied with what we already have. We're always going to be searching for more. The mist represents the confusion." He says smoothly. I raise my eyebrows. Damn.

"Very good, Jae." She says before moving onto the next thing.

Thank you, I mouth.

He looks away.

The next two lessons are like that as well. I talk. He ignores. He talks. I ignore.

I'm walking to football practice when suddenly, Angelo walks up to me and jokily punches my stomach. I wince, the pain overflowing my body.

"That nerd saved your life today, bro." I'm not your bro.

"Yeah."

"He's got such a weird name, huh? Jaehyun. Is he Japanese? Ha, I bet he has a pet panda in his bamboo garden. Japanese people are so weird. Like they're yellow. Gross. Can you imagine? Like-"

I punch him in the face before he can say any more.

"You-" punch "fucking-" punch "racist-" punch "asshole. Don't you dare talk about Jae like that again."

I walk away quickly, my breath ragged. Deep breaths, Parker, deep breaths. Elli's probably fine. I close my eyes for a moment but that was probably my worst move yet.

"Parkie!" Elli sobbed, hiding in a tiny corner. She looked so small, so frightened. She wasn't the girl I knew so well. Her eyes were tearful and scared. Slowly, I crept in beside her.

"What's the matter, Elli-Bean?" I whispered, on the verge of tears myself. This was scary, Elli never cried.

"My foster parents didn't want me." She sobbed.

"That's fine, there'll be more." I reassured her gently.

"NO!" She shrieked, crying harder "They don't want me because I'm black, Parker. They don't want me because I'm black!"

Her whole body throbbed, her lips trembling in angst. She was drained and fragile.

"They didn't want me because I'm black."

I don't realise the tears falling down my face. I wanted her. I wanted her but I couldn't. She was taken away to a different family one day and never came back. She's my soul sister. She's my only family.

She's gone...