The North-South Love Saga

Sadda Haq, Aithe Rakh

People couldn't accept that I was a grown woman capable of making my own decisions. Fed up with the constant interference, I decided enough was enough. I did something that was considered outrageous in South Indian culture—an act akin to premarital sex, in my opinion. I got a tattoo of Vardaan's name on my wrist. I affectionately refer to it as my "infinite halo of love," as it includes not only Vardaan's name but also my parents' and sister's names. But how dare I get a tattoo of my boyfriend's name, right? What was I thinking?

I was frustrated with everyone trying to control my thoughts and actions. I had reached my breaking point. Nothing could deter me now; I had gone too far. If things were to go awry, it would be my responsibility alone. I was prepared for anything. The tattoo symbolized my fearlessness and was seen as an act of rebellion by most. And perhaps it was. I wanted to do something that was entirely my decision—not influenced by my friends, parents, or even Vardaan. He wasn't even involved in this choice. I got the tattoo on my birthday, as a personal statement. It felt right! After experiencing a happy and fulfilling relationship with a loving and understanding man, it felt incredibly right.

The tattoo served as a declaration of my love for him and the significance he held in my life. It wasn't a disregard for my parents; it was me standing up for myself and fearlessly embracing love. His North Indian background didn't matter to me. His non-Brahmin status didn't matter. The fact that he was once a stranger didn't matter. What truly mattered was that he was an incredible human being. He was my first love and my first real relationship. While I had plenty of crushes before, no one had touched the depths of my heart like he did.

Of course, the tattoo brought about new challenges. I hid it for a long time using bracelets, watches, and scrunchies. Working the night shift at the newspaper helped keep it concealed. Apart from the tattoo, my mother had by now involved our extended family in an attempt to convince me to leave Vardaan. She confided in her sister, my pinni* as I affectionately called her, who was deeply disappointed in me. My mom even sought the guidance of my late grandfather's younger brother, or chinna tatha*, who claimed to be skilled in palm reading, forehead reading, astrology, and fortune telling. He warned that I would not marry the man I was currently seeing. Well, so be it!

Interestingly enough, my pinni and chinna tatha were the same individuals who ensured all the wedding arrangements were meticulously executed when the time came. They blessed me on my wedding day, and I am immensely grateful to have them in my life.

*Pinni - Aunt (paternal aunt) *Chinna tatha - Younger paternal uncle