The North-South Love Saga

Mere Dil Mein Jagah Khuda Ki Khali Thi

Once Vardaan made the move to Bangalore, my mother went into panic mode. She insisted that we should get married immediately, fearing the unknown consequences if we didn't. But I couldn't understand why we needed to rush into marriage when we would finally be in the same city. However, convincing my mother of this was no easy task.

On Vardaan's side, things were not as smooth. His mother had to endure significant challenges to convince his father and extended family about our relationship. She fought tirelessly to prove that I was the right match for their family. I can only imagine the struggles she faced, as they mirrored the challenges I had gone through in the past six years.

I understand that Vardaan's family had concerns about me, as they didn't know me at all. It was only natural for them to be cautious. However, I remained hopeful that everything would work out. Little did I know the extent of the efforts my mother-in-law had made to win their approval. I will never forget the day she sat with me, tears streaming down her face, while watching the movie "Two States." It was then that I knew I was more than welcome in their family.

Once Vardaan's father was on board, there was no stopping us. I remember the meeting they had at their house after his father found out. We ended up spending two to three hours discussing a missing cat! Finally, Vardaan's parents came to our house and met with my parents. This was a moment I had dreamed of for the past five and a half years.

The meeting was incredibly awkward. The language barrier created many humorous moments. My in-laws didn't know Telugu, my mother wasn't fluent in Hindi, and while my father understood Hindi, he was either too shy to ask difficult questions or cracking jokes throughout. I played the role of moderator, respecting the fact that this was an affair for the elders. To my surprise, during that very meeting, they decided to get us engaged*. It escalated from zero to a hundred in no time!

"It's too fast, I'm not ready to get engaged and married so soon," I cried. "I need more time." Unfortunately, my pleas fell on deaf ears, and my parents insisted on proceeding with the wedding. I had no choice but to stay quiet and listen to them—for once. I asked my mother, "Why, maa?" She replied, "What if he changes his mind later? You should still be young enough to marry someone else." That silenced me.

Vardaan moved to Bangalore in April 2017, and we got engaged in November of the same year. We didn't have much time to enjoy our newfound togetherness. Adjusting to living together wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. Despite being in a relationship for nearly six years, we had lived in separate homes and cities. There were many things we didn't know about each other until we shared the same space. Misunderstandings and arguments were common, as we had different temperaments and lifestyles. It was our first experience with culture shock.

I had envisioned a life filled with perfection and fulfillment, with expectations longer than a "1001 Things to Do Before You Die" bucket list. When Vardaan couldn't meet those expectations, I would feel sad and question everything. Eventually, I realized that "happily ever after" is a concept found in movies. Real love goes beyond that. Relationships require constant work, commitment, understanding, and putting the other person first. Love is a choice—a decision to choose the same person again and again, flaws and all.

I had hoped for a perfect love story without any pitfalls, but I learned that perfect love is actually imperfect. It's about facing trials and tribulations together, overcoming them, and emerging stronger than before. We had to unlearn everything we thought we knew about each other over the past six years and start anew. We became friends first. Strangely enough, despite being in a romantic relationship, we never had the chance to truly be friends. So, we took this opportunity to get to know each other, understand each other, and fall in love all over again.

*In India, engagement is a more formal affair involving families, where the couple is bound in an engagement ceremony. It is not the same as a proposal by the boyfriend to the girlfriend. Sometimes, the couple may have barely met before becoming engaged.