Take Off Your Dress, Pick Up A Sword

a string of pearls

Elizabeth barreled toward Will (of course), her mouth a thin line that spoke of vengeance. Joanna, on the other hand, stood in a pool of doubloons and felt indecisive.

I'm gonna die in this stupid cave, Joanna thought, glancing frantically from Will's battle to Jack's. She truly was useless. What sort of help could she, a tailor with ambitions, offer to a career criminal or a trained swordsman? She'd be run through before she could lift a finger to do anything.

Joanna hid nervously behind an ornate grandfather clock, peering with large eyes at Jack's harrowing skeletal figure. If I was immortal, this wouldn't be a problem, she thought.

Joanna's flurrying thoughts came to a screeching halt. Why couldn't she be immortal?

Why shouldn't I be a spooky, terrifying, smelly skeleton? She thought furiously as she stalked across the cave. No one seemed to pay her any mind; if they did, they quickly turned back to their more imminent battles. Joanna jumped over a pool of black water, thinking, Why the hell are the immortal coins reserved for pirates and scoundrels?

Women who carry needles and daos should have cursed coins as well, Joanna thought. With a grim, satisfied smile, Joanna thrust her hand into Cortez's gold and stole one for herself.

Joanna immediately felt dull and colorless, as if she had been plunged into a sepia painting. She breathed hard and was shocked by the blandness of the air. Feeling insubstantial, made of dust and nails, she turned back to Isla de Muerta. Her torpid gaze zeroed in on Barbossa.

Joanna blinked and suddenly she was halfway across the cavern, sword poised to carve out Barbossa's shoulder. You stole Jack's ship, my brother, and my brother's soon-to-be-fiancé, Joanna thought, and the sword found home.

Barbossa cried out in fury, whirling to glare at Joanna with yellow eyes. The dao remained buried in his shoulder; the tip peeked through his upper chest, glistening red.

Joanna glowered back. She did not feel quite like herself -- she felt like she would enjoy sticking a blade through his other shoulder, so he would be symmetrical.

In Barbossa's shock and anger, he turned his back on Jack Sparrow -- a grave mistake, as Joanna had learned many times. "Nice one!" Jack crowed, yanking the dao out of Barbossa's back with a swift tug. In a flash, he had impaled his own cutlass in Barbossa's other shoulder. He removed it quickly, leaving Barbossa as Joanna had desired: symmetrical.

Barbossa didn't take notice of Jack -- instead, he growled at Joanna. "You stupid girl," he said and pressed forward. Joanna, without a weapon, took a leaf from Jack's book; she danced away, kicking up silver coins.

"Joanna!" Jack called urgently, racing after them. Joanna looked up to see Jack throwing a sword -- at her, she realized, so she caught the dao by the blade.

It sliced through her palm, but Joanna barely noticed it. The injury felt distant and fuzzy. There were more pressing matters; namely Barbossa, who Joanna parried away with the flat of her blade.

Barbossa was a fantastic swordsman, Joanna realized as she and Jack picked away at him. He wielded his blade like an extension of his arm. Joanna was certain that a mortal Joanna and Jack would have no chance against a sane Barbossa.

Joanna came to another realization a moment later, when she ducked under Jack's arm to swipe at Barbossa's knee. Jack and I are a good team.

"Jack!" Joanna bit out a warning as Barbossa angled for Jack's back -- already stained with blood, Joanna observed unhappily. Jack heeded Joanna's warning and evaded, paving the way for Joanna to step forward. She surprised herself by exchanging several heated, blink-and-you'll-miss-it blows with Barbossa.