LILLY WINTERRARE

3 - End.

LISTEN TO: PARALYZED- NF

He came in reeking of whiskey. He was angry about something. He was always angry, I was beginning to think that was how he always was or maybe he just didn't like us. The latter was more possible. "Fetch me water," he roared throwing himself on the living room couch. I stood up immediately not to annoy him further. I rushed to the kitchen and filled a glass with water from the tap. That was my second mistake, the first to him seemed to be my birth.

"What is this?" he screamed throwing the glass at me and it narrowly missed my head shattering on the wall behind me. "Look what you've done," he went on getting up from seat his frame towering over me. I lived long enough with him to know to apologise and use my arms to shield my face. Anywhere but my face, anywhere else on my scar filled body. Today however it was different he wasn't trying to punish me, it was much worse. "You stupid girl," he cried and punched me across the face. My head spun as blood rushed to my brain. He pounced on me and pinned me to the ground. I shielded my face with my hands and he forced it off and punched me hard against the jaw again. The pain was immediate.

I heard a shrill scream as my mother came to view in my bloody vision and tried to force him off me but he pushed her down. I shifted from him, scuffling to the corner. My ears were bleeding and my face hurt so much that the tears pouring down my face stung. The house grew dim and the sky was turning to night, a representation of my current life.

"You know I hate games," he screeched lunging towards me as I pushed myself further into the corner, he still reached for me.

Pow!

I heard the sound of a gun as his large frame fell limply on me. I shielded myself unknown to me then that he was dead. I then heard the sound of someone fall to the floor behind him.

"Mum!" I screamed pushing him off me. I dragged myself to her, the gun sliding out of her hold, her body limp as well but unlike him she was still breathing.

I walked back to him, kicking him with my feet to make sure he was dead. I turned him over a gaping hole in his head. I went back to my mother and took the gun from her. I walked up stairs past the bathroom avoiding my reflection. I didn't want to see how badly he had damaged my face. I got a blanket, his blanket and rolled him in it with the gun and dragged him out and into the back-seat. I dragged by mother out to, afraid to leave her by herself and we waited in the car for the night to grow quiet.

The streets were dark and empty as it usually was at this time of the night. I drove to an uncompleted construction site on the main street behind mine. it had been undeveloped for a long as I can remember. I turned off the car lights and drove into one of the unfinished buildings. I took out the shovel and my father. I kicked him into the dug hole, threw the cleaned gun wrapped in his blanket on him. Finally laying him to rest forever, giving him the burial a man like him deserved.

Then I called Ashely and said the words I wanted to believe were real for so long. "Ashely he is dead. My father is dead." Tears poured from my eyes I could not tell if it were fear or relief.

"What?" She gasped. "How? We should call the cops," she says.

"Mum shot him to save me."

"Still they will understand, he was an abuser," she argues.

"We tell no one," I insist.

"I cannot do that Lils."

"No one Ash," I state with finality in my tone and cut the call and turn off my phone.

"Lilly?"  I swing around with the spade to face my mother. She comes to me taking the spade from my hands and I fall into her hold letting the tears fall. "Shh shhh it is okay I know you didn't mean to hurt him," she cooes and I realize she thinks I did it.  I let her believe it. "It is going to be okay now," she whispered, and I let myself believe it.

"Lie," I sigh out opening my eyes. It was an utter lie, mother after that completely spiralled and then came the amnesia, forgetting pieces of that night till the point she forget it all together but she kept having nightmares and then the pills and finally the hospital. However, she was doing better now. I had to protect her.

"Who will protect you?"

"You."

"3 days."

I reached for the bag popping another pill and swallowed it with lemonade. I was hurting myself but better me than anyone else. It was always better if it were me hurting. By the time I opened my eyes another day had passed this time the hunger was too intense to ignore. I downed all four packs of cup noodles and popped the pills again.

"I'd do something drastic."

"Ash," the words tumbling out of my mouth as sleep found me again.

'Who broke the vase' the principal asked. I was too scared to put up my hand and then out of nowhere a hand shot up.

"Me," the person stated boldly and as she passed me she whispered. "Better me than you,"

My eyes opened as I sprung up from my bed. "No, no, no, not this time Ashely, this is bigger than the two of us! Way bigger," I said tumbling of my bed. She had so many plans and at least she was living this life I had neglected. She couldn't take this fall. I wouldn't allow it.

I fumbled for my phone from the bedside table. The time was 1am. I had a few hours left to make a choice and it had to be the right one.

"Hello this is 911" the person at the other end said.

"I'd like to report a murder."

...

"Hi, my name is Lili-Lilly- Lilliana Winterare, I am 19 years old. My father was an abuser and I am a survivor" I said to the group.

"That's my daughter," I heard my mother whisper. I gave her tightlipped smile.

...

"Murder?" the 911 on responded questioned.

"Hi, my name is Lili-Lilly- Lilliana Winterare, I am 19 years old. My father was an abuser and I shot him when he tried to strangle my mother and buried him a construction site."

"Madam I will request you remain where you are."

"I have nowhere to go."

...

"Welcome Lilly," The nurse said. "Everyone here, just like you, is a survivor."

END.