✓ | 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ➳ d. schrute

( xviii ) ♡ 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

〔𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 ; 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯〕
〔𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳.〕

⋆

WILLOW ENTERED THE OFFICE and dropped a Barbie doll into a small box labelled "Toy Drive." Today was the annual Christmas Party, and Willow was absolutely dreading working with the Party Planning Committee for the day. She had no problem with Phyllis, Pam and the others, but obviously she had a little bit of a bias toward the head. Nonetheless, she knew she had to deal with it.

She looked over to reception, seeing Dwight holding a dead goose onto the desk, Pam looking appalled by it.

"I'm not even gonna ask." Willow said.

"I accidentally ran over it! It's a Christmas miracle!"

"Lovely."

"Well get it outta here!" Pam exclaimed.

"Relax, okay? And because this is Christmas, I am going to roast this goose and prepare it with a wild rice dressing. Do we have any cayenne pepper in the kitchen?"

"Merry Christmas, Dwight." Jim said while coming up to the group.

"Jim."

"Wow, what have we got here?"

"What does it look like?"

"Dead goose."

"And circle gets the square. So can you and Willow watch this? I'm gonna get my carving knife out of my trunk." Willow looked over to Pam, both making disgusted faces.

"Oh, Dwight, we talked about this!" the group turned around and saw Toby walking in.

"No, Toby, this is different. He's already dead."

"Do I ask?" Willow whispered to Pam.

"All I'm gonna say is that he brought a duck in."

"He's so weird." Willow felt herself smile slightly, looking over to Dwight.

"He was already dead. And we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious, smoky, rich flavor. Plus you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease." Dwight explained.

"Wow, win-win!" Jim interjected.

"Exactly, thank you Jim!" Willow and Jim shared a look of amusement with each other as the conversation continued.

"I like goose. If it's already dead, is it so crazy we eat it?" Phyllis piped up.

"That's crazy. It's crazy." Creed spat.

"Dwight, you cannot keep that here." Toby scolded.

"Okay, that is ridiculous. And totally against the spirit of Christmas." Dwight whined.

"Come on Dwight. We went over this, like for a half an hour."

"It's Christmas, Toby." Dwight pleaded, his voice in a whisper.

"It's a dead animal in an office. You can't..."

"Toby..."

"I'm sorry."

"Please?"

The room fell silent as everyone awaited Toby's final response.

"Clean it in your car."