Jikook: The Prince and the Idol

{9}

"I can be your first real kiss, Hyung."

The words escaped his mouth before he realized he was speaking out loud. Jimin's jaw dropped hearing those words escape the maknae' slips, "say that again Kookie." Jungkook panicked, "I um, we, I, nothing," losing what little confidence he had. Jimin let out a huff, shook his head and laid back down, praying his crush wouldn't see the tears welling in his eyes. He knew better than to let the younger back in his heart, he suffered too much already, he can't afford anymore heartache. They were better off as friends, right?

Jungkook bowed his head, staring at Jimin. The only one who could make his heart race and be calm all at the same time. He had fallen for Jimin a long time ago and it felt like his chance to show that forbidden love was slipping away from him. His licked his lips looking at Jimin who had laid back down to look at the stars, thinking it was now or never, he whispered, "Jimin." The older one turned his head slightly, drew in a deep breathe, holding back his tears, knowing the maknae would say he was joking just to hurt the elder, "Jungkook?" Jungkook stares at the deep brown orbs that he always got lost in, they turned into crescent moons when Jimin smiled or laughed too hard. He couldn't wait anymore, he was afraid to talk since words were usually his enemy, instead he finally took action. He hoped Jimin wouldn't reject him, but prepared for it nonetheless.

Staring at Jimin's full lips, "I want to be your first, Jiminie," Jungkook whispered, bringing his face closer to Jimin's, ghosting over the elders full lips, "please?" Jimin was too afraid this was another prank didn't answer, just waited for the maknae to say something inappropriate or rude. Instead, Jimin felt Jungkook's warm soft lips press on his.

The electric shock the boys felt when their lips connected spread throughout their bodies, creating warm pools in the pits of their stomachs. They tested each other's lips, trying to move in sync like they do when they dance after practicing alone for hours on end. This was better. Jungkook hovered over Jimin with one hand holding him up and the other caressing his crushes cheek softly. Jimin's hands were busying themselves on Jungkook's chest and cheek also. Jungkook saw in a few erotic movies how to "French" kiss, so he licked Jimin's bottom lip earning a small moan from Jimin. Taking his chance he slid his tongue into Jimin's warm mouth. Their tongues clashed, tasted each other, molding to each other becoming one, until they needed to take a breath. Jungkook slowly pulled away from Jimin, joining their foreheads together staring at those beautiful crescent eyes he loved so much as they caught their breath. "Ji-Jiminie," Jungkook whispered his love's name, he started to being his lips closer to Jimin, but he unexpectedly was pushed away. Jimin sat up, "wha-what is this Kook?" Jimin Asked accusingly. He too used to having Jungkook play with his heart and his feelings. Why now, why now when he's trying to forget him?

Jungkook was confused, and started to feel rejected by Jimin, saddened and scared he reached for Jimin who flinched. His heart dropped to the deepest pit of his stomach. He knew why Jimin was acting like this. Jungkook felt Ike shit for treating Jimin so badly for so long, he needed to gain his trust and love again. He gently took Jimin's hands, "look Jimin, I was, no I've been a complete ass to you for so long." His confession has to be now or never.

He took a deep breath before continuing, still gently holding Jimin's hands, "I treated you so bad, you never deserved that." Jimin stares at him still not smiling or showing real emotion, still wary. "I was afraid," Jungkook states. Jimin cocks his head slightly, "of what? What could YOU possibly be afraid of?" He whisper yells.

"Jimin, you know what it was like for me starting out in the band so young. I-I didn't get to experience "normal" teenage situations. I never got to party, be in school activities, go on class trips or have relationships. I saw what other couples were like and I saw how society would try and only have males and females together so I thought that what I was supposed to do too. I thought I HAD to like girls. I tried, I really did but no one ever made me feel like a certain boy did," he smiles at Jimin who shakes his head remembering several times finding a crying Jungkook curled on the floor and held him until he stopped. Jimin never pushed and thought the younger would tell him eventually what was wrong. What Jimin didn't know was while he held Jungkook his worries about liking Jimin disappeared and he was filled with calm, loving emotions that confused him but made hims so happy when his Hyung held him, stroked his back and wiped away his tears. He felt normal when this happened and conflicted when he tried to push those feelings away. "I was afraid of how good I felt when you held me. You made me so happy. I felt butterflies when I looked at you. I-I still do." He hold Jimin's hands tighter, feeling the other start to pull away.

"I was afraid to show you my true feelings. You have always been so straightforward with what you wanted and who. Your parents supported you unconditionally. I wasn't sure mine would. I was also afraid that I would disappoint so many people. But at the same time I didn't care if that makes sense." He takes one hand and puts it under Jimin's chin, "I thought I had more time to sort out my feelings. I thought you'd always be around and it wouldn't matter if I pushed you away one more time. You always came back, you're so strong Hyung. So much stronger than me." Tears are streaming down his face, his doe eyes glassy with tears. "I never ever meant anything I ever said to you Jimin. I swear. I was so stupid and afraid of my feelings and then all this happened and I felt like I already lost you. I feel so empty without you around. I miss you so much." He tried to smile through his tears. "I feel like it's too late but if I am it's all my fault and I wouldn't blame you for hating me. But I swear Jimin, I love you. I'm in love with you and I always have been. I'm so so sorry for treating you so badly for so long. I hope you can forgive me."

Jimin stares at the tear stained face of his maknae. He closed his eyes, "Kook," he softly says, holding back his own tears. This is what he's always wanted to hear, but years of rejection does something to your heart. "I want to believe you, I really do. But please look at this from my perspective. You confessing to me now, after you find out I'm the Prince of Busan, literally before I'm getting married, it just seems a little convenient. I'm not saying you don't feel like this but why now?"

So this is what rejection feels like? Jungkook's heart sunk. "What-I..." He didn't know how to answer Jimin's questions. "I-I'm sorry Hyung," he whispered and dropped his hands, tears still falling down, "I gotta go." He turned away and quickly ran back to his shared room with Jin and Namjoon. Jimin felt more conflicted than he ever was. He never wanted to reject Jungkook but he didn't understand or believe his confession was real.

"He doesn't love me."