Ready Or Not(ON HOLD)

Breath Of Fresh Air In My Lungs

“He said He loves you and leaves you. Ugh man. I knew that shit was too good to be true. I should just end it all.

“Yes! I can do that right now”

Just take this gun and fire away.

But what would that solve.

He would still have my man and ill just be a faded memory every body eventually forgets about.

FUCK IT!! I don’t deserve to live.

I lock the bathroom door sit on the toilet and put the heavy black gun.

I stare at the gun and I debate.

“Do I really have the heart?”

I raised the gun in my shaking hand and open my mouth.

Right at that moment, I heard knocks on the door.

It was my best friend Destiny that I shared a dorm with.

“William, Open the door”

“No” I answered in a very irritated tone.

“Will, Hunny what’s wrong?”

“Im gonna end it all today. All the tears, the heartache, the fighting.” I just couldn’t handle it no more.

No WILLIAM Stop Don’t Do It Please. I hear Destiny screaming while banging and slamming her self into the door.

I just blocked her out. It didn’t matter what she said anymore I was killing myself and that was final. I pulled the glock on the gun back and as I put my hand on the trigger. The door began to crack from all the banging being done on the other side.  All types of thoughts went through my head. My last WORDS. My last day of living. Its time.

“Farewell”

BOOM!!

4 Months Earlier.

     William was a freshman in college. He wanted be a star. THE star. He was not a senior at Duke Ellington School of The Arts anymore. But a freshman at NYU. He wasn’t alone of course he had friends. Destiny his best friend. Theirs link the dancer. Kaila the vocalist. Anaka, Evelyn, Damoni, and many, many more.

Okay you all have everything, destiny mom said as she dropped us off for our first day of college.

“Yes Mom”, Destiny replied annoyed and ready for her mom to leave.

“William, You got everything” she added.

“Yes, Auntie Latrice”.

“OKAY. He got everything. Love you bye”

    That was the end of that conversation. Destiny was more eager than me to now be on her own. A practical adult. To be honest, I think she was just trying to prove a point to her mom. That she could be on her own without her mom. But yeah lets see how long that last. I mean I was happy to be on my own was I really ready. I don’t know. Every since we got out that car my hands was getting sweating and my heart started to pounding. I couldn’t let destiny see this though. She would probably laugh me out but hey. I was nervous. We walked around for about 15 minutes.

“Ahhh, This is the life” Destiny yelled.

“Girl we only been here fifteen minutes”

“But it feels free. I feel FREEDOM. Smell the air”

I just stood and looked at her like she was a psycho.

“Are you breathing” she exclaimed.

“Yes, Im breathing girl.”

“Look at the boys, the fashion, the TALENT”

“I see all that” I replied.

    Just when I was about to be annoyed, a little short girl pops up and greets us with her pink gums and pearly white teeth. “Hi, Im Janice and Im apart of the welcoming committee. If you would, can I have your names so I can show you to your dorm rooms? Im guessing you to know each other by the way you all were just talking. Sorry to be a snoop but I just cant help it.”

“Strader”

“Huh” The short girl replied.

“Strader, my last name” destiny said with her soft alto voice.

“Well your room is in, dorm 143. Here is your two keys, yellow page, laundry card, terms and agreements manuals, schedules, and a key chain. Enjoy your years at NYU."

And with that the short girl was off.

  You know what, maybe I will like it here. Maybe, this is the place im suppose to be. I thought as I walked to our dorm. We open the door to the room and it was kind of nice. Two beds, a kitchen, two bathrooms and a closet.

After we got settled in we sat on our beds and just looked at the ceiling. Making it to college was an achievement. We had graduated. Silence finally.

‘ A TORNADO FLEW AROUND MY ROOM, BEFORE YOU CAME EXCUSE THE MESS IT MADE IT USUALLY DOSEN’T RAIN IN. ‘

“Destiny, Pick up your phone” I yelled to her.

She goes over to her phone and looks down. “Maya” is printed in bold on the screen. She answers the phone and hears loud voices on the other.

“Ahhhh, Destiny. Are you here yet?” Maya said with excitement.

“Yea. My dorm number is 143. You should come by, guess who my dorm is with?” she replied.

“WHO” she waited anxiously.

“William”

“Aww, Willy. Tell him I said Hi”.

“William, Maya says hi” Destiny said.

“Yeah Yeah” I mumbled while I rolled over.

“He said he loves you and that you need to come over” I hear Destiny say as I made myself more comfortable in my bed.

About 2 minutes later there was a knock on the door and we saw four faces pop up into our dorm. I hopped up to all the cheering and laughing.

“Hey yall” I said plainly.

Link came over to my bed and sat on the edge. “Get your ass up”, he demanded.

“Boy shut up”. I replied.

“Well since classes don’t start until like next week, how about we go out?”

“Maya, we just got here can we rest the first day” I added.

“Every since we got here. He been acting different”

“Destiny, I have not. Im just not as press as yall. Its just another school, four years, and opportunity to get closer to my dreams.”

“Well im trying to go out” Anaka said out the blue.

“I agree with William, I need my sleep” Mariama replied with her accent.

“Look I brung this bottle. Im trynna get it cracking. William you always the life of the party what’s wrong”

“I don’t even know Maya. Maybe im just a little home sick; just give me some time ill warm up.”

“Well lets take shots” Maya said while bring the bottle out.

We all got some shot classes out the cabinets and Maya poured us at shot.

“Okay 1 2 3!”

We all chugged down our first shot.

“Pour me another one,” I said holding out my shot glass.

“ Yes!! This is the William, I know.”

Maya poured us all another and that turned into another. At the end of all that I had just drunk 8 shots. I wasn’t even drunk my body was perfectly used to drinking way more than that. When they say I was the life of the party. I really was. My liver almost failed once but it’s used to my drinking now so it’s already hipped to what was about to happen tonight. I was planning on getting completely wasted.