The secret feeling

The beginning

I woke up to hospital monitors beeping and people talking and crying. I opened my eyes my body was so sore o couldn't move. I looked out the door and saw a doctor talking to Matt. He was crying and shaking. The doctor walked away and than I saw the jacks Nash Hayes and Taylor running to him. They all hugged him and started crying. When Matt looked at me he realized I was awake and ran in he took my hand and was sobbing . "I'm so sorry y/n it's all my fault this would never have happened if I just--" i cut him off "Matt it's not your fault me being in the hospital is no ones fault okay." I said grabbing his hands his eyes were red with tears and it looked like he hasn't slept for days. The guys walked in "hey" I said "hey how you feeling" gilinsky asked "like shit" we laughed. As you talked to the guys you noticed gilinsky kept staring at you. I pretended I didn't notice or care. Hayes and Nash had to leave and so did Taylor. When Johnson was leaving I told him to take Matt so he could get clear up and sleep for a while "ya Matt you should go I'll watch after y/n" gilinsky said my heart dropped and my stomach had butterflies.' Wtf why is gilinsky gonna stay and why has he been staring at me' I thought to myself as soon as they left gilinsky sat in the big brown leather chair next to my bed . " what" you said with attitude as he stared at you. "Come on don't be like that baby." He said grabbing my hand I took my hand away. "what is with you gilinsky" I said "come on y/n don't act like you don't remember" he said but I WASENT acting I don't even know what's going on. I stared at him with a blank expression on my face. "Your kidding right? How could you forget your the one that started it y/n!!" Gilinsky said getting angry. I didn't say anything or do anything "you kissed me and told me you really like me and than we.,, ya know did it" he said sad and mad " gilinsky I got into a car accident I'm not going to remember much. I do like you I really do but I also really like Matt. And I made a promise to myself I wouldn't fall for anyone you guys because I didn't want to break up your family and the relationship you guys have I wouldn't forgive myself if I broke up your family." I felt bad me and gilinsky hooked up and I didn't remember. I did love gilinsky but I also loved Matthew. He still looked really sad but kind of understanding. "I never met a girl like you your different your not a slut your not a crazy fan your chill and funny and beautiful but most of all your the nicest person I've meet in a long time. I never intended to fall for you y/n when I saw you for the first time I knew you were different and you were what I needed I'm not the best person ever and you make me different I'm....I'm so in love with you it hurts I know you love both me and Matt and I'm not asking you to choose yet but you can't lead is both on than fuck one of us over and act like what you and the other person Had was nothing. You have no idea how many of us are in love with you. And your new boyfriend is a pice of 💩 we have so much more that that cunt has" he said "he's my boyfriend because he treats me right and loves me -- "but do you love him?" Gilinsky interrupted he stood up and walked out. My boyfriend Adam came in with flowers and my favorite candy. He kissed me on my forehead. As we talked I couldn't stop thinking about what gilinsky said. What the fuck am I gonna do