The secret feeling

Mattersday

After I was discharged from the hospital Matt took me out for lunch and to the movies. After the movie we walked around for a while. I could tell something was bothering him I couldn't take it any more "Matt what's eating you you've been acting weird" I asked " it's your new boyfriend" he replied " what about him?" I asked "I-I do t want you dating him." Why because he's not good enough for me he's a tool a dough bag" I yelled "NO Y/N I DONT WHAT YOU DATING HIM BECAUSE I DOBT WANT YOU DATING ANYONE" he screamed I never heard Matt this pissed before it scared the shit out of me. "Matt I-- we --" I had no idea what to say to him "I'm so in love with y/n. You are just so blind to see that I'm madly in love with you your the first person I ever loved. When we started hanging out and talking I started falling for you ever second of ever minuet of ever hour of every day and when you told me you had a boyfriend my heart broke I was never hurt so much in my life by one person. When I found out gilinsky was also in love with you I was so fucking pissed because I knew you had feeling for him already but I can't take it anymore just being your friend y/n" he looked like he was gonna cry I hate when Matt cries it just breaks me.

"Why!? Why can't you just leave him if you loved jack or me why can't you leave him!?"

I started sobbing like crazy

"Because Matt...I -I can't. I can't ok. Is that what you want to hear!? I can't just leave Adam. There are reasons reasons that you don't know or understand."

" than stop leading us on if your gonna stay with that prick!!" Matt said holding back his tears I could hear it in his voice

" I'm not trying to lead you on you know that's not my intentions Matthew" I said crying and trying to catch my breath

" it's sure as hell starting to look like it" he walked away leaving me alone crying.

All I ever do is fuck everything up