Against Their Wishes

Chapter 13 part 2

After a long ride, they eventually slowed their horses as they approached the water’s edge. Gregory swung down off Molasses and went to help Olivia but she was already standing on her feet by the time he reached her. A tree stood about twenty paces away, and Gregory took both horses and tied them to the tree where they could graze on the grass in happiness.

Turning around, he saw that Olivia was already sitting on the sand, leaning against her elbows. Her face was tilted up towards the sun with her eyes closed. As Gregory slowly approached, he could see her dark eyelashes fluttering against her cheek. Walking around her, he stood as a shield to the sun, casting his shadow upon her face. The loss of heat alerted Olivia to his presence, and she slowly opened her eyes to peer at him. Offering him a smile, she patted the ground next to her.

Gregory, taking her invitation, laid down beside her with his hands folded behind his head. Olivia did the same, neither one caring that they would be covered in sand when they rose from the ground. For a minute, no one spoke. Neither felt the need to speak, and, instead, let the silence wash over them as they allowed themselves to bathe in the heat from the sun. It was a long time before either of them wanted to break the silence.

“Did you enjoy your ride?” Gregory smiled having already known the answer to that question. He turned his head to face hers on the ground. Catching his movement from the corner of her eye, she followed suit until their faces were inches apart on the sandy ground.

“Very much,” she whispered. Her eyes glinted with happiness as she looked into his own. Olivia’s thoughts had been racing while they laid there in apparent peace. She had never truly known Gregory to be kind to her, at least not to this extent. ‘Although,’ she remembered, ‘he was nice to me at the lake on that day so long ago. Maybe he does not dislike me as much as I believe? Of course I would be the one to start having feelings whilst he gets to sit there with nothing like this running through his thoughts. Oh, why did I have to feel first? Why did I need to feel at all?’

This constant battle in her mind persisted. One moment she seemed to wish to have affection pass between the two of them and the next she was wishing for their hateful relationship to stay in place. She was comfortable with the idea of her hating him and him hating her. At least she knew where she stood. When she found herself wishing for more out of her forced circumstance, she lost her footing. He was too difficult to read, and sometimes it became easier to forget that she wanted to see if they could possibly be more.

Somewhere along the way, she had stopped hating him. She had her moments where she highly disliked him, but gone were the moments of pure hate. She was not aware of when this terrible feeling went away, but she knew it was gone. She had seen too much of him, exchanged too many words. Things changed for her when they talked at the lake and when he apologized in the carriage. Not all moments between them were bad, and for that reason, she could not stop herself from wondering if any of them had to be bad. Until she was sure of her feelings, she really needed to stop expressing them to Lucy. The last thing she needed to deal with was Lucy asking what she was waiting for because Olivia truly did not know what was preventing her from confessing this to Gregory, fear perhaps.

“Thank you very bringing me out here; it feels amazing,” she smiled, turning her head to look back up at the sky. She followed the clouds with her eyes that passed overhead.

“I made the assumption that you would enjoy coming to the lake. You did tell me that this was where you like to be.” Olivia did not reply but rather let the silence speak for itself. They both stayed quiet once again, and it was nearly an hour later before anyone spoke. The sun was starting to dip in the sky, and although the days were getting longer, it would dip below the horizon soon enough. With a grunt, Gregory pushed himself to his feet.