spencer reid one shots

(a) hospital halls

the scalding water lie still around you as you sat fully clothed in the bathtub.

you just wanted to feel the weight of the sodden clothes pulling you down into the depths of the heat.

spencer had tried desperately to get you to take your clothes off before getting in but you screamed and cried so hard he didn't try for more than a couple of minutes.

he just sat on the floor beside you, his floppy brown hair covering his beautiful brown eyes, staring at the ground.

how many hours has it been? was it one, two, or more than that? how long had you been here?

you finally lifted your hand from the water as the sleeves of your shirt got heavier before reaching your face and wiping away tears from your red, swollen cheeks.

spencer took a deep breath as the moonlight started to shine through the window.

"you haven't eaten all day," he stated. you just stared at the bathroom wall behind you as tears brimmed your eyes.

the darkness enveloped the room around you and the water was no longer hot. "love, let's get you dry," spencer tried to coax you out but you breathed shakily in return while your face bent in anger.

"why?" you shouted, broken. the first your voice had been used since this morning.

"you're going to get cold and i-" he tried but you cut him off, turning violently and splashing water all over the floor.

"no, why us? why me?" you screamed, your voice hoarse. spencer just closed his eyes and winced silently when your voice cracked.

he thought about what he could possibly reply, but soon decided that he couldn't say anything without turning into a mess himself.

you walked hand in hand with spencer through the lysol smelling halls, clutching to your purse without even realizing you were doing so.

nerves wracked your body and spencer rubbed his thumb on your hand, like he knew exactly what was going through your brain.

hospital hallways were never someplace you'd been fond of, was anyone fond of them anyway? but you needed answers.
after trying so desperately for a child with spencer, you had to figure out why it turned out to be so much harder than it looked in films.

sex had turned into a chore for the two of you, and you had always wanted to give spencer some little brown-eyes geniuses to mold. there had to be a way to make this easier.

you threw your face in your wet hands and just wept snotty, wet tears. half bathtub water, half the salty water that seemed to flow from your eyes, no matter how dehydrated you were.

"do you mind if we take a couple tests?" the doctor asked, looking up from a clipboard of information. you looked at spencer, worriedly and he just nodded softly.

"su-sure," you stuttered and stood, running your sweaty hands on your striped pants.

spencer left abruptly and returned seconds later with a change of clothes in his arms.

finally tired of seeing you so tortured, he pulled you out of the cold water, and you didn't fight back.

your sobs turned to heaving breaths of panic as he dried you best he could and held your face, wiping away tears as quickly as they came.

"breathe," he took a deep breath in and connected your foreheads. "breathe."

"just breathe," the nurse spoke sternly and you wriggled your nose uncomfortably.
what could be so wrong, that this was happening?

what was she doing? what did she need all this information for?

spencer sat between your spread-out legs and held your torso close to him as he cuddled into your neck and you just sat there, still. all emotion that had manifested itself so clearly only minutes ago was gone.

"i'm so sorry," your eyes widened as you processed what had been said moments before. "there's nothing you could have done, this isn't your fault," the doctor assured.

spencer just nodded and the doctor swiftly left the room. you turned slowly to spencer and your lip quivered.

"i'm-"  you started.

"don't-" he put his fingers to your plump lips.

"i'm sorry," you insisted.

"don't."

he held your hand tightly, leading you to the dining room where there was still half-finished meals on the table.

you walked slowly behind him as and held his hand as he made tea with the free one. your other hand fidgeting with the strings of one of his hoodies, keeping your shivering frame warm.

he poured the warm liquid into mugs and helped you drink carefully.

"spence," you breathed and he just turned to you, wiping the tears from your cheeks that you didn't notice.

you lifted your hands to wipe the salty liquid from the brims of his eyes.

"i'm so sorry," you finished your thought.

"love, i-" he started but you stopped him.

"i wanted to give you everything. i wanted to give you a family. i wanted to give you children," you whispered and his breathing became shallow. "isn't that what a woman's supposed to do?"

he shook his head at the thought.

"you're not incomplete, y/n," he insisted and shook your arms gently. "you are going to give me all of those things. hell, you already have. you are my family."

you bit your lip tiredly and stood to get closer to his face.

you kissed away the tears on his red, swollen cheeks before planting a kiss directly on his lips.

you felt him melt beneath you and reach up to the back of your head to push you closer.

breathlessly, you pulled away slowly and rested your forehead on his.

he tiredly picked you by the waist before walking slowly to your shared bedroom and setting you down on the bed softly.

his hand found a place in your hair and around your waist and his sleepy eyes met yours.

your fingers lifted underneath his shirt and you ran your fingernails across his stomach slowly.

"i love-" he started and you quickly spelled 'you' across his warm chest.

you felt his tired grin as he pulled your head close and kissed your forehead softly.