Nepenthe ᵇᵗˢ

✎┆ too late

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❥ protagonist: yoongi

❥ genre: slice of life / angst

❥ mature content: profanities

❥ synopsis: on the night before his departure for seoul, min yoongi receives a collection of recorded audio messages from a girl who hangs somewhere between an acquaintance, friend and lover. and as her voice makes him recall their days together, he realizes ── maybe some things always remain as what-ifs. that is, if you're too late.

❥ notes: another one of the plots that never made it to a book :(
lowercase intended !

❥ word count: 2.5k rip

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yoongi pressed his foot down on the accelerator, the voices in his head barely audible over hers.

the streets of daegu were quiet as they could ever be and the streetlights and spring wind were his only companions as he drove through, leaving behind the places he had known all his life ── a rehearsal for what was to happen the next morning. most of the shops were closed at this hour with the exception of medical stores and supermarkets, and for once in his life, the lack of people around him was actually prominent. the loneliness in the air reached out for him, seeping through his veins, coiling around his neck; and he was truly thankful for her honeyed voice. it was the only thing keeping him sane, and as he realized at that moment ── it had been for a long time.

he focused on it once again and the paranoia that had started to take over him slowly disappeared into the breeze. "i don't know if you're asleep right now," she murmured, "probably not, considering how nocturnal you are. do get some sleep, though. you'll need it for tomorrow."

her choice of words had always been much like her actions ── simple but heartfelt, for the emotions she put in them without even attempting to never failed to reach him. "i'm sending these to you tonight, knowing i'm too late. even so, i want you to know every single thing i was too much of a coward to say face to face."

if only you knew, he thought, i am the cowardly one.

"though it does not sound very believable, i remember each and every moment i spent with you ── in detail. i remember the time we first met, through the orchestra and thanks to mrs. kang's horrible pair-making abilities. it was no secret to me that the mint-haired boy i had been paired up with was less than friendly; everyone kept talking about it as soon as the names had been announced. but i didn't have an idea of just how disinterested he was to play ensemble. that too, with a first-year nearly no one knew."

"you rushed out of the class before i could even attempt to introduce myself and the next time i saw you was again at mrs. kang's office, when you requested her to change partners. i felt dejected that day, wondering what i could have done to fuck up so bad in your eyes to make you beg for freedom from me before we could even talk. but of course, mrs kang lived up to her reputation and denied immediately; unknowingly making way for the best part of my life to finally come visit."