Vanilla Twilight

8

⚠: raw and unedited.

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'That's the last of it, let's go.' Psyche brought the last bag to the car after I lazily sat inside without helping her with the stuff upstairs, including mine.

I was so doleful this moment that I didn't want to do anything but stay where I am and not move for like, ever, anymore. But a road trip's going to end somehow, I knew we couldn't be hitting the road forever, and this just might be the climax of our little adventure.

The fairy lights Psyche connected on the car were still there, not twinkling but there. It gave me such a nostalgic feeling, as if the first day of us in the car have been years ago. The airbed is now deflating, which made me more freaking sad because I worked so fucking hard of blowing that thing up and we just used it for not even half a day. My cheeks hurt when I remembered the excruciating process.

'Come on, cheer up!' Psyche nudged me as she noticed I was looking at the car with sadness with every gaze. I frowned at her but she replied with rolling her eyes.

The sky was a pastel shade of grey, clouds were thicker than they were yesterday, and the sun that was shining oh so brightly an hour ago, seemed to have disappeared out of the blue. The celestial beings seemed to be resonating with me.

I was now in charge of playing the music so before I started the engine, I went to my Spotify and chose a sad song, because what better fricking way to embrace the darkness with an upbeat song with tear jerking lyrics.

I know you said

That you don't like it complicated

That we should try keep it simple

But love is never ever simple

No

'Oh come on, Ashley. Clouds, really?' She shook her head, attempting to change the song.

I pouted at her, looked at her with puppy eyes, pleading to play just this one song. She just looked over at me with dark eyes for a while and then rolled her eyes.

'I'm not changing it just because it's One Direction.' The tsundere in her said. I laughed.

Someday

You're gonna see the things that I see

You're gonna want air that I breathe

You're gonna wish you never left me

I thought about what would happen after this as I drive away, the shadow of the bed and breakfast slowly fading from our view.

Everything has been perfect so far, mornings have been the most refreshing, nights have been the most serene, and almost every second is the trip is one chapter of a magical tale.

And thinking about leaving this whimsical moment and letting it slowly turn into nothing but a memory, my heart wrenches a little, like a part of me that only I discovered in this car, in this trip  with a stray cat and the most perfect person, will be gone.

Here we go again

Another go round for all of my friends

Another non stop will it ever end

And I reckon things wouldn't be so different after this day. Maybe we'd continue to hang out, maybe not, but most probably the former. But I don't control fate, I don't own destiny to tell her what I would want my future to be like. I just don't know what will happen for sure, so I'm not getting my hopes up too much.