After all these years -Camren Fanfic

Wish you were gay

Camila's pov:
I cant anymore. I feel to many things. hiding behind this mask has become too much for me. I thought if I dated Shawn all my feelings for him would simply come back but now I know the feelings you have for people when your 15 is based on looks. But love , real love is more than just being attracted to someone. Yeah Shawn is a nice guy and all but I don't love him like I love Lauren. But I lost her before I could tell her because I decided to run away from my feelings because I was scared of the truth . And I didn't just hurt The Harmonizers but I hurt Dinah , Ally , Lauren and Normani. And I wish I can turn back the time to when I wrote that song with Shawn backstage so that I could go and joke around with big Rob instead because what Shawn Mendes said that night was what I didn't need to hear especially when I felt certain things. He gave me an excuse to escape. That Camila Cabello is better solo and she outgrew the image of Fifth Harmony. Ha I know now that I was set up because now Epic Records is smiling and Simon Cowell the owner of Syco music is scratching his head confused. And I , so called Camila Cabello is lying in a bed with someone that I wish was someone else.

BEEP!BEEP!

Ugh my alarm

'Morning baby' says Shawn, in husky sleepy tone
'Morning' I say trying not to be dry but when I am with Shawn the days seem to get longer and longer and long-

' baby are you okay' he asks worriedly
'Yeah just got cramps' I lied
'Oh well you stay in bed and I will make you a hot water bottle and some breakfast , maybe some waffles' said Shawn with a extra nice tone
Waffles. Waffle House . Ally Brooke . These days every thing reminds me of fifth harmony and the memories we had. I can't stop thinking about them even though I left them 4 years ago. It's 2020 now I should be focusing on new music and be happy with my hot bae but not only am I thinking of the girls , I am thinking of how things could have played out differently if I wasn't so dumb. But I wish at the same time that the person who was meant to know me the most see what she was doing to me. The way she made me feel . Oh Lauren Fucking Jauregui

'Babeeeeee' Shawn shouts
'Sounds perfect bae' I say while trying to hold back the tears in my eyes . It's the perfect time for a Dinah hug but she's not here . A lump in my throat forms while my eyes begin to fog up and I turn to my side so Shawn doesn't see me cry
'Okay I'm going and I'm gonna wear that snap back that you bought me it's all sheeeek' says Shawn in twink voice

Sometimes it's moments like this I think Shawns gay but I guess it's only because I wish he was.

I stick my headphones on as he walks out the room to listen to wish you were gay by Billie Eilish on repeat until I can't take it no more and I burst into to tears making my pillow wet
No wonder why sofi loves Billie
Her voice can make you feel so better but yet so vulnerable and you can cry and cry to let it out